what she wrote for him

what she wrote for him


she's a poet's rendering
his taste in musical feet
the iambics of soft locks drifting
out of rhyme,
but still flowing magnanimously
into his words,
her skin a palette 
for the paradox of smooth soul

the beat encountered
is a kiss of longing
and the longevity of feelings
that will never dry on the canvass

of his heart. 



erin-cilberto
5/4/17

Reviews

[Shy Joe]

Even a bitter person such as I, can see the smile you wore as you wrote this. Jealous of the ability, envious cheer.

Great piece as always. Thanks for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Shy Joe.
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Your words are like an arrow, Jacob - straight to the heart. To borrow a line from a Carly Simon song, "nobody does it better!"

"and the longevity of feelings
that will never dry on the canvas

of his heart..."

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Kelly...

j.

[Antonio Valentino]

amazing how others are the ink of our sentiment.. the hues that paint the world we see..

it would be nice to know she knew this was for her

nice piece my friend..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Antonio.
j.

[SJ Mullins]

I don't think I could say it any better than barleygirl. She captured it perfectly. This is beautifully written, Jacob. You are a master poet. I always enjoy your poetry. Write on! :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Suzanna.
j.

[SJ Mullins]

You are most welcome, my friend. :)

[barleygirl]

This one is especially smooth-flowing & full of great word choices to convey contrasts of feelings. I always enjoy the way you weave between ideas like writing & creating music & painting.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, barleygirl...

j.

[Relic]

Love can indeed be compared to poetry and art. Excellent writing as always Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Tim...always appreciate your visits.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

i am longing to be in love with this poetess ... all risks be damned ;) the contrasts between classical form and free verse so apt in describing when it comes to loving ... the title ...i paused and said ..oh i wish she was writing one for me ... first two lines ..oh she is praising him by trying to speak his language ..technically faulty ..her emotions expressed overpower and diminish these "mistakes" ... i love the "beat encountered" ... you move me with this one Jacob ..a big keeper in my books!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, E.

j.

[Michael Oliver]

This works like a stream of consciousness - an Odessey trying to define your feelings. Yes

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Michael.
j.

[gabrielle]

Oh my... i think that to be loved by a poet is both heaven and hell.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i imagine so, gabrielle.

thank you,
j.

[Surya]

Just a wow..I liked the intensity in it...:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Surya...

j.