the totality of Eve

the totality of Eve

she hides the sun of her heart

behind dark shades

the damaged retinas beyond repair

as is her love

now eclipsed by years of abuse

shadows over her face

clouded bruises

a blue sky marred

the smile that used to shine

a foregone conclusion

a far gone ending

and when the fatal minutes pass

she will find her way home to

a permanent  firmament 

sink into the kinder canopy

than that firm fist that blistered her skin

with cumulus blows

like a sudden rainstorm

that destroyed a once perfect

day in paradise

before all the people came to watch

the event.

erin-cilberto

8/18/17

Reviews

[lightsong]

Powerful piece, though we are just like You, observers, but You dragged us into these sorrowful painful lonely moments very effectively that actually our senses and mind were aroused, and this to be written by a man makes it even more wonderful, there is a certain sensitivity through Your words, and a true spirit of a woman hide between them, a spirit carrying more than one character of a woman, if we grasp closely, that only an aware sense can write it, great poem, thank You*

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Light....

j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Real..Sad..Disturbing .....

A prison of pain and darkness..

Will reoccur in times......somewhere..............

J.J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

unfortunately, way too many times...
thank you, Jazzy...
j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Right..... You are welcome jacob..

[gabrielle]

Beautiful, Jacob. And thank you for penning this for all the Eves who had to go through undeserved painful struggles.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i absolutely despise the men who put women through this...and i know it works the opposite way too...just makes me so angry.
thank you for your kind words gabrielle...
j.

[Mary]

Pain and hopelessness and death so perfectly expressed. So many die before they leave. Well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Mary.
j.

[Mary]

Our brains must be in synch, Jacob. I just posted SSDD which is about the day yo day life of an abuse victim

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Very soul searching
Very dark but she sees light
Away from those fists

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Julie.
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I feel the pain and hopelessness of a woman suffering from domestic abuse articulated in your words j. Eclipse references and imagery are vivid and dramatic as love and life itself is eclipsed by violence. You give a voice to so many victims of this crime. Thank you for this amazing poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Annette.
j.

[DIVYA]

Tbough the poem is stunning in its entirety, here are the lines after my heart...

and when the fatal minutes pass
she will find her way home to
a permanent firmament
sink into the kinder canopy
than that firm fist that blistered her skin
with cumulus blows

Thank you for this ultra memorable read!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank DIVYA, you are very kind in your reviews of this old writer.

j.

[DIVYA]

Its both a pleasure and an enriching experience teading you Mr. Jacob. You are welcome.

[DIVYA]

Thats 'reading' :)

[Bacchus]

Dark.
Good, but darker than most of your romance writes.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Bacchus.
j.

[andrew mitchell]

nicely written j as always with polish, although the undertones suggested an eclipse i couldn't help feeling this was a mask for domestic violence but that's just me and you are the alfred hitchcock of verse with hidden twists and plots. lol.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

very astute observations, my friend.

thank you,

j.

[Norman 223]

Having watched a total eclipse in the Australian outback, the feeling of awe has to be experienced.
Life appears to stop for several minutes. Birds fall silent, shadows turn purple and lengthen and a chill envelopes. Almost a homonym for the Apocalypse .

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like your poetic reply, Norman...more comforting than my poem is...
j.