fresh stones

fresh stones

 

 

a pretentious pretender

spreads the love

like soft butter,

but feels like a hard rock inside

 

the daily bread tears at the hypocrisy

i smile and frolic

carry tunes in my pocket

a walking song of sanity

 

 

sandwiched into his life

suffocating in a freezer lock bag of indifference

 

 

expiration date approaching

a mayday of molding marauding

 

do you see the green spots?

it's not envy

if that's what you think.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/22/17

Reviews

[Alfred Kukitz]

Oh pretenders!

So the freezer bag is your lot! How bout a place on the book shelf of dreams?

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

there is a place there too, Al.

j.

[Hebe]

Hi Jacob, I believe there are many people among us 'suffocating in a freezer lock bag of indifference' hypocrites in disguise the imagery makes your hair stand on end. Your words are potent! loved it!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Hebe.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

clear contrast between the two .. lots of room for my imaginations to fill the story ... that first couplette is very vivid ...i put myself in there to see what it is like ...no fun my friend....choking for breath i had to break out and move on ... very interesting closing .. i would think by nature the antagonist would be blind to the green ... envy or mold ;) ...but the mold puts a cap on it says i ..death knolls tolling .... and Halloween is coming isn't it ... perfect for a moldy goul
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing and identifying E.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Somehow this feels personal Jacob. I guess one side of a story can provoke inappropriate judgements. Both sides tell the true tale and often those who seem wronged and vulnerable are less so. Indeed sometimes playing the fish, putting it back in the stream and playing it again and again and again. Lovely word play.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, John...
j.