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a claim on belief

a claim on belief

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto


a claim on belief

 

 

sift the yellow sky

through my fingers

like gold dust,

 

 

i am the dusk of me

shadowing the moon of existence

 

wondering what the point of rising 

 

is, 

 

when the fervor of life 

feels like panning in an empty stream

 

the odds of striking priceless faith

 

waning like the moribund day

toward a black sky.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/27/17


© 2017 jacob erin-cilberto



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depression will cayse you to wonder about life,existance, and all other matters of life,i think you did a great job of espression

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Weeks Ago

thank you, wordman, appreciate your comment.
j.
 wordman

2 Weeks Ago

you`re welcome,,i see a type o,to late now,lol
oh man - I spent a good portion of my afternoon yesterday trying to write exactly this - ha! funny synchronicity - I even have yellow in it - I was playing with words trying to state the feeling of depression - it needs work - much work - but I am going to put it below anyway and hopefully you may give me your thoughts.

You have simplified while adding depth - I have exacerbated - but mine is for the into to a novel - as i Said, needs work, trying also to find the narrators voice ...

I particularly love the first stanza - it grabbed me and held me right there - love it Jacob.

Now here's what I wrote ... I need to replace the word death I feel ...

My life thus far has been spent running from death. My own death. A death I shall bring to myself. I don’t want to die. It feels ironic in the running away I am propelling myself forward towards my own ultimate death. We all die, but we don’t want to chase it. I am stuck in the middle of life between two deaths. Running in erratic fashion. Unsure of the destination. Not running too far forward to fast. Side to side works. This way, that way. Never staying still. That’s the key. Stillness opens the door to death behind. It creeps in like an early winter. Surprising me by rendering me catatonic under a wet blanket of lethargy. Pins me with immobility. Enters my ears so a dense fog fills my brain. Suffocating. Lifeless piece of flesh. Rotting from the inside out. Insidious thoughts diseasing any sense of equilibrium.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Weeks Ago

best line " rendering me catatonic under a wet blanket of lethargy"
Death does fit...but if y.. read more
KWP

2 Weeks Ago

hey thanks for your thoughts Jacob - they are much, much appreciated indeed :D - and yeah, it happen.. read more
I am the dusk of me ....... wondering what the point of rising is.... exquisite lines, brilliant.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Weeks Ago

thank you for your kind words, andrew.
j.
beautifully written, vividly pensive, i’m always in awe of the way your ink capture imagery/emotions, etc in such a unique way. thank you for sharing — x - barrie


Posted 3 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

3 Weeks Ago

thank you for your kind words, barrie.
j.
ms. barrie

3 Weeks Ago

you’re most welcome :)
These words have not just been slung together, it is clear that they have been well considered and subsequently crafted into a poem of considerable merit. Certainly one to savour and to reflect upon, time and again....N

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

3 Weeks Ago

thank you for your kind review, Neville.

j.
Neville Pettitt

3 Weeks Ago

Again, my pleasure, N
Maybe everyone sees this dusk in their lives.
Maybe the urge to give up, seeds from the fact that a lot many other times they stood up tall for themselves and their loved ones.
Maybe once in a while we all need to just calm down and be. And let the life fall into its place on its own.

A beautiful poem, Mr. Cilberto! Got me thinking, like really

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

3 Weeks Ago

thank you for your kind review, Jyoti..
j.
I always think it's a western thing. We cease to exist after a certain time of life. No longer required.
Yet in China, you would be classed as the wise one.
People would seek your opinion. Where did it all go wrong.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

3 Weeks Ago

they would be bitterly disappointed..i can hardly think well enough for myself...but thanks, Paul.read more
i see your speaker on the edge of discovery ..i think some of our finest insights are the result of being brought to the place of giving up ... of letting go ... your theme is my cup of tea jacob .. and once again your use of metaphor is spot on and so enjoyable to read ..tho this one ends moving towards a black sky :(((
E.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

3 Weeks Ago

thank you for your kind review, E.
j.
When we struggle for purpose life often feels empty and meaningless. As we get older and friendships wane, old chums die off, children are gone and consumed with their own lives, and there is no one to teach sometimes we see death close to us. Lucky for us we have your poetry to teach us not only form but also empathy and ethos.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

3 Weeks Ago

thank you for these very kind words, John.
j.
Pure poetry; lovely poetry.
To me, faith is based on trust; I trust that whatever brought me here, will get me through--a sort of Everyman's Religion.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

3 Weeks Ago

thank you for your words, Jimmy...
j.

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Added on October 28, 2017
Last Updated on October 28, 2017

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at two community colleges and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. Friending works two ways. If we have had .. more..

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