we are our own final run

we are our own final run

 

 

the wind is taking a rough course

like an abandoned bobsled

out of control,

banging against trees which in turn

sliver houses with their metal

 

and Olympic size storm of triumph

but the losers weep

through belongings ravaged

a few pictures saved,

medals around the necks of the survivors

 

there used to be a podium to stand on

but that was unearthed like tumbleweed

and now we all stand by the cactus

 

riveted to an old out of focus tv set

watching the replay

of our lives.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/24/18

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love the title -- another one of those amazingly crafted phrases that all writers wish they could think up! I love your vivid imagery, even more unexpected than usual. And the ending is perfect! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Margie...
j.

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

When we get to this point of looking upon our own lives then I do hope it’s to reflect and change as carrying on in the norm won’t take us nowhere- we create our own tornadoes and gale force winds- choices whichever way they go- loved the way you compared life to external environmental aggressors, loved reading🌹

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your allusion to the tornadoes...thank you for your words, Kelly.
j.

[mou]

sometime I want to visit at those crossed days where many of important thing are left..but don't want it again..not because of the fear as I need to cross those thorns but have doubt that this time that plastic smile could not be kept..mostly get touched by the second para, where a winner get medal in front of those loser who once had started together..emotions get waved by many words here which I could not express by words..just beautiful

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate your insights, mou.
j.

[mou]

my pleasure :)

[CD Campbell]

I think your metaphors were slick in this one. I am guilty of doing the replay thing in the back of my own mind when things are "eh". But instead of being that quarterback who constantly talks of high school in his old age, I think there is more glory for us to be had as long as we keep writing. Your words always have me thinking. CD

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, CD..
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

may the winners live on cereal boxes for evermore.

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, my friend...yes, may they...

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love the old TV set at the end
Wonderful read Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie...
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Another gem, yes when I was young I would have liked a replay, now I think not but I would make changes.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Not sure I want to watch a replay of my life....except perhaps certain specific parts! :) Too many parts would would be prickly to watch...and painful all over again. The simile of the abandoned bobsled is excellent. I liked this one. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi...
j.