Lingering Landslides

Lingering Landslides

 

 

 

frigid fingers touch the keys

with brittle resound

echo cold caves of lonely love

signature breezes, wind chilled imagination

 

you had found my candle

but snuffed it with angry breath

yet i still kissed your staunch frown

into slight smiling submission

 

then the avalanche of feelings

overwhelmed us both,

and our hearts were lost forever

upon that mountain of doubt.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/29/19

Reviews

[Corset]

I love it when you get romantic , when she is snorting out candles, you had your doubts too, it's nice when you can admit things like that..crazy love.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Corset,
j.

[Alessander]

"you had found my candle

but snuffed it with angry breath"

Great line. Says a lot in a little

This feels a little bit like a tango. Somewhat angry/aggressive. A passionate dance on the verge of breaking.

Seems in the end, the passion landslided.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Alessander,
j.

[Cherrie Palmer]

You never know when an avalanche will sweep across emotions. I have been swept away in such feelings a time or two.
You set the stage, so the reader can see and scene the mood. Then you just let it all to fall away.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Cherrie.
j.

[Stella Armour]

"when in doubt ... don't" someone said to me long ago, and those words still come back; maybe it was not right for you and she had issues she could not reslove ?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

perhaps...thank you for your words, Stella,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

I get the feeling of a relationship which finished before it even really started. One which lingers in the memory. That avalanche inflicted a whole lot of damage. It happens sadly. Great work Jacob.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Chris.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

In landslide country, you have to watch those sudden movements--yours and the mountain's.
Despite moments of hopefulness, this relationship seemed doom from the start.
A realer-than-reality portrayal, gifted poet.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Jimmy,
j.

[Lorry]

Perhaps it is the current polar vortex that sends my thoughts to Jacob, in fingerless gloves, wondering whether he will make it to the last line before the cold will shatter his heart, which by the sounds of it barely survived the memory of past landslides. (i thought it was cold here. You have my sympathies.)
Freezing temperatures seem to remind us of the almosts, when ideally the warmth of it working out for once would be so much more beneficial to our poor limbs. The mind can be our own worst enemy at times.
Powerful reflections on barely surviving being buried alive.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, the mind can be cruel...thank you for your words, Lorry.
j.