Luring with undertones

Luring with undertones

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto

Luring with undertones

 

 

trolling pages for amusement

the muse messes with minds

mired in muddy lagoons

drowning feet stuck in iambic quicksand

 

sinking inking linking 

feelings to the page in chaotic catastrophe

there is a smattering of human

still left in this prolific pen

 

but a caustic embryo 

found its way to adoption

a poet's child died at birth

but refused to be ignored

 

now a phantom forensic clue

that i once knew you 

that i once held you in my arms

 

you were real

i was real

 

now we are both immersed

in strait-jacket waters

bubbling bursting breaking wind

 

the overwhelming scent of decay

on display

with this less than stellar foray

 

 

i think i'll just still-fish for awhile

i need quiet semantics

just a slight ripple

 

before the next strike.

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/9/19

© 2019 jacob erin-cilberto


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Reviews

This poem fluidly flows like River Nile. It is expansively rhythmic throughout with a good job on assonance. It has good start, hook, development, suspense, middle, momentum and an inevitable great finale.
This is poetic creativity, purposeful, substantial experimentation at best; which is what poetry is truly about. I love the wonderful use of alliteration all throughout. This poem is rich in poetic devices.

Well done!!!

Posted 5 Days Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

5 Days Ago

thank you for your thoughtful, very kind review, BlackPrince.
j.
Okay Jacob your just vomiting brilliance lately and reminding me of my mere mortal standing! by the way fashion those caustic embryos into gold plated earrings and gift them back to your muse:) damn straight this was a good one!

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

thank you for your very kind review Bad bunny...
j.
I loved your work tonight.
"now a phantom forensic clue
that i once knew you
that i once held you in my arms"
The above lines. Hard, direct and powerful words. Thank you Jacob for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

thank you for your extended visit, Coyote...
i should have offered you something besides poet.. read more
Coyote Poetry

1 Week Ago

Always a pleasure to read your work and you are welcome Jacob.
i find that sometimes i grasp a thought or feeling and cast it out into my mind and heart to yield something deeper, to add the meat to the bones. sometimes it goes as planned, other times it takes a turn into something different, something triggered within. Whether it be dark or pleasant, I always find it honest.. Not everything inside is pretty and eventually it surfaces by force or by nature. Just my thoughts.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

appreciate your thoughts, as always, Ana...quite insightful...you make the poets you read reflect on.. read more
Ana Papaya

1 Week Ago

I guess that's the beauty of sharing. I find that with my own writing too, that I am often presented.. read more
Strange how when we are still hurting we sometimes do 'troll' in the hope of salvation popping up and taking away our pain. Even as we do we are actually afraid to pull that fish into shore lest thet bite back.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

thank you, John....
j.
I think I see myself in the water’s reflections... or maybe below the surface, in the company of good and bad. I wonder what others will see. A good mind-twister, J.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

thank you for relating to this...love seeing how others find themselves in these poems.
j.
I can relate to this, Jacob. After several weeks of fishing in a creative quagmire, I seized upon the only bait that I could find.... the British political system.
N.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

does that political system work better than a live minnow?
:)

thank you, Norma.. read more
Norman223

1 Week Ago

Possibly, but not very digestible.:-)
N.
Bad bunny

1 Week Ago

oh my god come over to the states sometime if you want indigestion my friend thank you for the laugh.. read more
In the horror show of poetry intensions turn to shocked realities!

regards,
al

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

so true, thank you, al...
j.
With all good intentions, something catastrophic happens sometimes that turns what was meant to be beautiful into something grotesque, semi-human. And we struggle with it under water not being able to overcome it or help ourselves. A truly unfortunate situation.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

thank you for your insightful words, DIVYA,
j.
DIVYA

1 Week Ago

It’s a pleasure always Jacob.
"I need quiet semantics".
Nice tone J.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

thank you, Zipho...
j.

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Added on May 12, 2019
Last Updated on May 12, 2019

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at two community colleges and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. Friending works two ways. If we have had .. more..

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