I trek in pace

I trek in pace
To the beat of the drum
The tempo now slower
Than when it begun
Each new vista
Stirred a fervor in me
But time took its toll
No more passions to be
Now aged and weary
As I trudge my last track
I’ll wait to go home
When God calls me back

Reviews

[Nigel Newman]

Hi there. There's a pleasing but sad aura to this poem. There rhythm and meter are there but quite gentle; the words mirror the old person's resigned readiness for the end. You could almost change the title to I trek in peace!

I myself am probably at 65 in the Autumn of my years, but I find the last few lines a little too pessimistic and laden with emotive words 'trudge' 'last' 'weary' 'God calls'' 'wait'. There probably are folk who are just marking time waiting for the end, but not many, I'd suggest. And this isn't about lack of faith or belief in after-life (although I have neither). I know several strong buzzing-along Christians who will do their best to remain energetic and positive as long as possible.

May I suggest that it would help readers if you split this into 3 separate verses each of 4 lines.

All that said, to repeat, I do like the feel and mood of this. There's a long long trail a-winding into the land of my dreams ....

BRs Nigel