Her Journey

Her Journey

A Poem by Snow Angel

A young woman started a new journey on her own. She was full of hope and deeply believed in herself. Throughout her journey she had hit a dead end. She searched for a way out and called for help but no one answered.

In a panic she fell into a ditch. 
She tried to climb out but only fell back down.
She cried for help but no one heard her.
She screamed but others only walked by.

Her hope and faith slowly faded away.
She then knew she was on her own. 
She sat in the pitch dark and concentrated on the sunlight above. She stood her ground and felt stronger than ever before.

She climbed out of the ditch of darkness and felt nothing but pride.
She then knew to only have faith herself in the cold cruel world. 

© 2017 Snow Angel



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Featured Review

I like the way you are using an allegorical story to represent a major life lesson. I have found that many people around me are helpful -- a little bit & on their time -- but in the end, I must rely on myself for the major life issues (just as your story says).

Your story has quite a bit of "telling" -- whereas they say "showing" is the stronger way of writing. One way you could "show instead of tell" -- at the end, paint me that picture, show me how it looks & feels -- you are starting down that path, but it could be stretched out a little more, with maybe a bolt of sunshine warming her back & infusing her with confidence & energy.

Feel free to read request me again, I always enjoy reading you (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Snow Angel

4 Days Ago

Thank you barleygirl You reviews are always wonderful you are very sweet and resourceful :)



Reviews

Snow Angel, the world is cruel, uncaring,lonely,
beautiful, always changing and worth every moment. Brave write to admit any weakness or doubts. You lead us to be interested in your journey for instance what lead to be trapped in the ditch.... tell me about the dark ditch sounds like a great poem . Brave write

Sheer Terror

I

Posted 4 Days Ago


I like the way you are using an allegorical story to represent a major life lesson. I have found that many people around me are helpful -- a little bit & on their time -- but in the end, I must rely on myself for the major life issues (just as your story says).

Your story has quite a bit of "telling" -- whereas they say "showing" is the stronger way of writing. One way you could "show instead of tell" -- at the end, paint me that picture, show me how it looks & feels -- you are starting down that path, but it could be stretched out a little more, with maybe a bolt of sunshine warming her back & infusing her with confidence & energy.

Feel free to read request me again, I always enjoy reading you (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Snow Angel

4 Days Ago

Thank you barleygirl You reviews are always wonderful you are very sweet and resourceful :)
Good advice. Sometimes you've just got to rely on yourself.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This poem is motivational, you draw your readers in with a story and leave them with a message. A journey that everyone can take a little something away from, you're on a road to great things.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Snow Angel

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you KeeD.
very good I like it you're a good poet

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Snow Angel

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you cammyw. That was very sweet of you. :)
cammyw

3 Weeks Ago

thanks can you read and review the woman I want to marry
Our feelings take us on unexpected journeys. We never know though, is it for better or worse....Lovely writing Angel :)

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Snow Angel

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you Ana B.
touching write,she believed in her self

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Snow Angel

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you!
Self motivating people play a major role in bringing back their courage. I really liked this poem. It has a good message.
Correct the spelling in the title.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Snow Angel

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
Najam Us Saher

3 Weeks Ago

You're welcome. 😊
A very good thought expressed in simple language which has a certain effect. My suggestion would be to write this in a more poetic style.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Snow Angel

3 Weeks Ago

Any examples of more of a poetic style. I'm new to this. Thank you for taking the time to read my wr.. read more
Suhd

3 Weeks Ago

Try to bring music n rhythm into it. Use poetic words which add up to the beauty. Break the common g.. read more
Snow Angel

3 Weeks Ago

I will give it a try. Thank you!

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212 Views
9 Reviews
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Added on September 25, 2017
Last Updated on September 26, 2017
Tags: journey, faith, hope, darkness, suffering, help, depression, pride, sunlight, courage


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