My Dearest Acquaintance

Goodbye and good luck.

You, who so swiftly entered my life on the heavenly whirlwind of angelic wings, are being taken away in a similar manner, abandoning me involuntarily for a better life. I am Elisha, forced to watch my friend, stolen by fiery chariots, fly to the holiest of lands unseen by any mortal eye. If a spirit of compassion would deliver me to her side, how I would thank him. 

But now, alone, I am mentally reviewing the atrocity done to me by Fate; that cruel old hag, pulling strings and matchmaking events without giving the slightest of thoughts to the souls she toys with. Only surpassing my great anger is grief. My heart recalls its former days, when she was there and melancholy was not. 

Distance is too far for my taste, I think; the memories vague, the hearts hardened. Not a friend, but an acquaintance. For better or worse I may never learn, I know only that your image will forever be branded in my eyes, leaving the sweet kiss of your kindness upon my exhausted mind.

Reviews

[Dahlia]

This really cuts like a knife. I really admire your style, I'm new to poetry and I'm learning so much on here, and your poem has really inspired me to branch out! Your choice of language is phonomenal, and I like the intimate feel, as if your talking directly to me. Brilliant piece, :)

[Ethan]

Aw thank you! Welcome :)

[Nikolean]

I loved this poem! It was emotional, it was compelling, it had wonderful imagery. A small critique may be that it might be easier for the reader if the stanzas were shorter ( the longer stanzas right now make it seem more of a prose ) but that's just a small critique. I love your descriptors here, and how you referenced Elisha- it was a clever choice.

[Ethan]

Certainly, that's a good point

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i lost a friend in this way---she lit up my life in so many ways...and died at 27, so much ahead of her...so much friendship ahead of us.
beautifully expressed here.
j.

[Ethan]

Ah, the better life i refer to is merely
college. I cannot imagine losing her to death, my condolences

[jacob erin-cilberto]

which means your poem is open to others relating to it as they will, and that makes good, universal poetry.
j.

[amyo]

I think your description of Fate is so strong and vivid. I can see the "cruel old had" just making a mess of the strings of our lives. I would love to hear more about "You." I am imagining how special this person must have been to have come into your life "on a whirlwind of angelic wings." I really enjoyed your poem. Keep writing!

[Kelly B.]

You are an excellent writer. I loved reading this. Very relatable

[Ethan]

Thank you :)

[Maria]

Truly loved this, and it reminded me of the story or event, however you want to see it, written in the bible about Elijah and his friend, the other prophet standing by a river, as God sent a chariot to take one up and the other is left behind. Yet of course, you focus on the lost of a friend, and the feelings and memories left behind on the one person, who was the others friend. Really love how you laid it all out. Great Job!

[Ethan]

Yes, that's why I refer to myself as Elisha watching Elijah being taken to heaven

[Ethan]

Thanks! :)

[Maria]

You're welcome. Truly inspiring work.

[Jobira]

Written beautifully. Touching, emotional, well organized.

[Toxic Angel]

I find this piece so real, its well written, it's something that happens to everybody, you aren't friends or anything with the person but still miss them, the end and the start are brilliant

[Najam Us Saher]

I like your selection of words you beautifully weave them into sentences...beautifully written....so descriptive...

[Zephyr]

You are a capable writer Ethan:)
I like your style of writing!
You belong to a different group of poets!
You have a future in this!
A great poem indeed.

[Ethan]

Thank you.

[Zephyr]

My pleasure

[CMC]

A person who is tired of fate taking from them; it speaks volumes. It's also painful to have someone ripped from you. So painful that it leaves an unbridgeable gap between you and them. Exceptional work.

[Ethan]

Thanks that means a lot :)

[CMC]

You're welcome. :)