Less That I Slumber (rough draft)

Less That I Slumber (rough draft)

A Poem by Barbara Walker
"

Self explanatory

"
As my age has grown in number,
the hours grow less that I slumber.
I'm beginning to see
that older people, like me
experience this phenomenon, too
and here's what I think we should do-

I think this is the Universe's way
of putting more hours in our day.
Let's take nature's hint
and let's all do our do our bit,
because our children don't see any fun
in our leaving projects undone. 

© 2017 Barbara Walker



Author's Note

Barbara Walker
Should I leave the last line as is, or should it be "in us leaving projects undone'? Update-changed it in other ways. Thank you, E.

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there is a lot to be said about us all getting our ....stuff together ... we do sleep less (at night anyway) ... but we feel our time is growing shorter at an alarming clip ... our last will intentions ... our medical intervention choices ... the cost of our funerals ...must not be left to those, who loved us most, to decide ... we have the time .. we should use it well
for me the choices of your closing line doesn't matter .. both have same syntax and syllable count .. these lines:
" Let's all take this enigmatic hint
and do our bit," ...... i do stumble over just a bit .. enigmatic is perhaps the culprit as far as flow goes ... its a very strong word ... i find this poem so relateable ...with such down home advice in it and a gentle acceptance of ones age no matter what it is ;)
E.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Barbara Walker

8 Months Ago

thank you, E. Maybe just drop enigmatic. Let's all take the hint, let's all do our bit?
Einstein Noodle

8 Months Ago

perhaps ...or hidden hint ... nature's hint ...something with two syllables ... shame to loose it e.. read more



Reviews

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Gee
Time becomes so much more precious as we age, so much so that laying for to long seems a sin. Get up, get at 'em, get things done.
Good morning

Posted 1 Month Ago


there is a lot to be said about us all getting our ....stuff together ... we do sleep less (at night anyway) ... but we feel our time is growing shorter at an alarming clip ... our last will intentions ... our medical intervention choices ... the cost of our funerals ...must not be left to those, who loved us most, to decide ... we have the time .. we should use it well
for me the choices of your closing line doesn't matter .. both have same syntax and syllable count .. these lines:
" Let's all take this enigmatic hint
and do our bit," ...... i do stumble over just a bit .. enigmatic is perhaps the culprit as far as flow goes ... its a very strong word ... i find this poem so relateable ...with such down home advice in it and a gentle acceptance of ones age no matter what it is ;)
E.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Barbara Walker

8 Months Ago

thank you, E. Maybe just drop enigmatic. Let's all take the hint, let's all do our bit?
Einstein Noodle

8 Months Ago

perhaps ...or hidden hint ... nature's hint ...something with two syllables ... shame to loose it e.. read more
Wise advice shared dear Barbara. Time is our wealth. We need not waste her. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Barbara Walker

9 Months Ago

Thank you Johnnie
Coyote Poetry

8 Months Ago

You are welcome dear friend.

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3 Reviews
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Added on March 14, 2017
Last Updated on March 21, 2017
Tags: slumber, old, people, time

Author

Barbara Walker
Barbara Walker

Lake Havasu City, AZ



About
I am retired from the Postal Service. I find I write poetry to help myself through difficult times and I have written many poems in response to the chronic pain I've been living with for over 30 year.. more..

Writing