Ode To A Computer

I wrote this last year, when I was having problems with my computer

I sit here, waiting for you to respond,

whatever happened 

to our special bond?

 

I tried to do everything right.

I find myself in despair,

you're giving me quite a fright!

 

Can't you see,

I need you so much?

Please, please, don't leave me!

 

Now, I click the mouse

and what do you do?

Act like a louse!

 

I'll want one site,

but, you, you

put up such a fight!

 

You move like a snail,

I can barely

send an email.

 

What makes you tick?

Tell me truly,

are you sick?

 

You aren't making a sound.

Is there a deadly virus

going around?

 

You're fading, oh, so fast,

when we met,

I thought you'd last and last!

 

You're going to crash!

Just when I have

absolutely no cash!

 

What a lonely plight,

to be without you,

every night!

 

I don't know what I'll do,

my life     will be

so empty    without you.

 

 

Reviews

[Gaia Octavia]

I like this! It's so great, despite how it seems as you begin to read, to realize that a piece of poetry has nothing to do with men ☺ Nice job

[Barbara Walker]

Oh please! There are more important things in the world! lol

[Gaia Octavia]

Agreed for sure

[dyl000]

This is so true, i thought my first laptop was just going to last forever. Now it takes a half hour to turn on

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you!

[Pax]

Brilliant and clever..rhyming is perfect...
i absolutely love this line:
You're going to crash!
Just when I have
absolutely no cash!
i perfectly understand it, i experience it that way...
well done..

[Dr. Wood ?]

brilliant because it is oh so true...The computer...The love of everyones lives...apart from my wife who is convinced I am having an affair

[Bethany Woody]

:). Oh I absolutely love this. I related, I laughed, I even applied it to more serious things in my life. That is the best thing and author can do, be iside the head of a reader without e ven trying. Funny and perfect.

[Christina May Shanaberg]

I really enjoyed the concept of this poem, especially the last stanza and how it was written and cold be read in two different ways. Wonderful writing!

[Lauren Marie]

Sometimes I feel this way about my computer, and sometimes I want to chunk it out the window!
This was a fun little poem, and I'd have to agree with Lunar Pup, that that particular stanza could use some revision.
Loved this piece!
~Lauren

[Wolfe Greytome]

Very entertaining - especially since everyone has had that computer at some point in their lives.

[Ethan Paz]

Excellent poem. I laughed my way through.

[Lunar Pup]

its a very entertaining poem O.o very rhymy but in the stanza

Without you,

every night

will be a lonely plight!

you changed the rhyme cuz its usually line 1 and 3 that rhyme and in this one the 1st and 2nd rhymed....