Gypsy Caught in Rain

Gypsy Caught in Rain

A Poem by Faith Knoll

I always say
'Pack it away... think about it another day,' 
but that's just the thoughts 
of a gypsy caught in rain. 

They say love's like comin' home 
but I come from a broken home. 
I burn bridges from the wrong damn side,
just trying to further myself in this life. 
There once was a day, I gave it all away 
For a man 
Who didn't feel the same. 

Yesterday,
I was his missing piece,
His shelter in the rain
Today, 
I pick up the pieces
as I pack it away
Turns out, 
He was my hurricane

He left me with nothing 
but the need to break away
When he left me 
With not a word to say

So for the rest of my days, 
I'll run 
Like a gypsy caught in rain

© 2017 Faith Knoll



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Reviews

Good work!

I like the structure tells a complete story, and depth of character. She's not just a gal with gypsy wander lust. She's got scars, wants, and longing. Little bit of justified anger in there too.

In the second paragraph (stanza?), I don't know if there's a rule about repeating words. (It's creative writing so hang the rules anyway, right?) If I had to leave an honest criticism/suggestion, maybe just leave it at, "...mine's broken." Gives the reader more of a punch, maybe?

Best line: "Turns out, he was my hurricane." Powerful visual image in the context of heartbreak especially when transitioning from stable relationship to not.

Great read, and keep up the good work.

Posted 6 Days Ago


Brilliant
Poignant
Raw
Happy sad honest

Posted 2 Months Ago


Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

Thank you!
I really love this & relate to it. I love the way you're bemoaning tough life experiences without sounding like a whiner . . . just telling the story of what's been along this road. Love the metaphors of rain & hurricane, as well as the irregular rhymes. I love the tone of acceptance, too! *smile* . . . Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Months Ago


Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

This means so much to me! The purpose of writing is to connect with somebody else, which lets me kno.. read more
This is thoughtful and creative. Nice job!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much :)
Gypsy Caught in Rain...what a wonderful title! I liked the story of this gypsy though sad and somber but the imagery and description is so good! Glad I've found your poem. :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

Thank you Sourav :) More to come!
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Gee
Once bitten, some many times but still back for more. Like the burning bridges lines mos, sort of thing I used to do with my quick mouth when younger.
Enjoyed the read

Posted 2 Months Ago


Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

I appreciate it a lot thanks(:
Sometimes when you try to tie them down, they fly further away.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

A little gypsy in us all lol
I have been a Gypsy all my life. I liked the story and the energy of these words. Sometime running is all we have to be done. Thank you Faith for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Months Ago


Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

Your last comment on Faith's Lullaby made me think of this poem hahaha thank you for the words Coyot.. read more
Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

When we are young. Can run. Comes a time. We are stuck.
Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

Ahh but Gypsys never settle down :)
Tragic poetic tale of a nomadic free-spirited person, who had their heart wrecked by a broken relationship. very creatively penned ... Bless!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sad, haunting, eloquent. Great title and simile, imagery, flow, rhythm and rhyme. Very evocative imagery and wordplay. I hear the musicality of it. " He was my hurricane"- yes, I have been there too. Brava!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

Means so much! Thank you :)
Annette Pisano Higley

2 Months Ago

You are very talented and very welcome Faith. I love your dog too!
Faith Knoll

2 Months Ago

Ditto(: Your feedback is just awesome and your support keeps me in awe!

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Added on July 26, 2017
Last Updated on August 23, 2017

Author

Faith Knoll
Faith Knoll

Denver, CO



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