Gypsy Caught in Rain

I always say, 

'Pack it away... think about it another day,' 

but that's just the thoughts 

of a gypsy caught in rain. 

They say love's like comin' home 

But brokeness is all I know

I burn bridges from the wrong damn side,

just trying to further myself in this life. 

There once was a day, I gave it all away 

For a man 

Who didn't feel the same. 

Yesterday,

I was his missing piece,

His shelter in the rain

Today, 

I pick up the pieces

as I pack it away.

Turns out, 

He was my hurricane.

He left me with nothing 

but the need to break away

When he left me 

With not a word to say

So for the rest of my days, 

I'll run 

Like a gypsy caught in rain

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Perhaps that rain hides your tears, poet... because they're there.. as happens when hurricanes hit heart and more. But you know, the running has to stop to give someone else a chance to grab you up and call you 'his sweet gipsy girl' It's a case of give love a chance..

Your words, your thoughts are so beautifully sad, each stanza a brief near lonely miniature, a diamond of a phrase, a hush of magic.

[Faith Knoll]

Aw! Thanks so much hun :) I haven't read any of your stuff yet but from your comment above I would say you are a gifted writer.

[emmajoy]

Your poem is wonderful.. sad - very but worth everything i said. No hurry to read my scribbles.. when you can, if you want. Maybe add a verse to the Christmas Collaboration.. if you;d like to, that is. Have a super sweet weekend..

[Faith Knoll]

Indeed, I will the Christmas Collaboration!

[Hold-B-Run-Faster]

Good work!

I like the structure tells a complete story, and depth of character. She's not just a gal with gypsy wander lust. She's got scars, wants, and longing. Little bit of justified anger in there too.

In the second paragraph (stanza?), I don't know if there's a rule about repeating words. (It's creative writing so hang the rules anyway, right?) If I had to leave an honest criticism/suggestion, maybe just leave it at, "...mine's broken." Gives the reader more of a punch, maybe?

Best line: "Turns out, he was my hurricane." Powerful visual image in the context of heartbreak especially when transitioning from stable relationship to not.

Great read, and keep up the good work.

[Faith Knoll]

This means so much to me! Thank you(:
When you say end the poem with mines broken, I don't see exactly what/where you are taking about

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Brilliant
Poignant
Raw
Happy sad honest

[Faith Knoll]

Thank you!

[barleygirl]

I really love this & relate to it. I love the way you're bemoaning tough life experiences without sounding like a whiner . . . just telling the story of what's been along this road. Love the metaphors of rain & hurricane, as well as the irregular rhymes. I love the tone of acceptance, too! *smile* . . . Fondly, Margie

[Faith Knoll]

This means so much to me! The purpose of writing is to connect with somebody else, which lets me know I did my job :) thank you for your support

[Franky]

This is thoughtful and creative. Nice job!

[Faith Knoll]

Thank you so much :)

[Sourav]

Gypsy Caught in Rain...what a wonderful title! I liked the story of this gypsy though sad and somber but the imagery and description is so good! Glad I've found your poem. :)

[Faith Knoll]

Thank you Sourav :) More to come!

[Gee]

Once bitten, some many times but still back for more. Like the burning bridges lines mos, sort of thing I used to do with my quick mouth when younger.
Enjoyed the read

[Faith Knoll]

I appreciate it a lot thanks(:

[Paul Bell]

Sometimes when you try to tie them down, they fly further away.

[Faith Knoll]

A little gypsy in us all lol

[Coyote Poetry]

I have been a Gypsy all my life. I liked the story and the energy of these words. Sometime running is all we have to be done. Thank you Faith for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Faith Knoll]

Your last comment on Faith's Lullaby made me think of this poem hahaha thank you for the words Coyote much appreciated :)

[Coyote Poetry]

When we are young. Can run. Comes a time. We are stuck.

[Faith Knoll]

Ahh but Gypsys never settle down :)

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Tragic poetic tale of a nomadic free-spirited person, who had their heart wrecked by a broken relationship. very creatively penned ... Bless!

[Faith Knoll]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!