Mr. Teddy Bear

Behind each family's front door is a secret that no one else knows about. This is a song to anyone who has been hurt by their family before (warning: it is very sad).

Little five year old girl

Beautiful blonde hair

Holding her only friend

Mr. Teddy Bear

 

Daddy’s an alcoholic

Mommy’s an addict

They hate her so much

She sleeps in the attic

 

They beat her everyday

Saying they hope she dies

She says nothing

Just lays and cries

 

But she still loves them

Even if they wish her dead

Yet at night she bleeds

Sleeping quietly on her bed

 

Only left to talk to

Mr. Teddy Bear

Whispering in silence

As she cries there

 

Then mommy comes home

Tired of her horrid life

She goes to the kitchen

Pulls out a butcher’s knife

 

She goes to the attic

Opens the big, creaky door

Girl’s still silently crying

Her tears filling the floor

 

Mommy hits her in the face

Thinking its all for the best

Then screaming I hate you,

She stabs the girl in the chest

 

Police come by the house

Take Mommy and Daddy away

They go up to the attic

With hearts torn that day

 

Little dead five year old girl

Blood-stained blonde hair

Holding her only friend

Mr. Teddy Bear

Author's Note

Ignore any lines that don't rhyme, I was trying to do ABCB but I'm pretty sure I messed up somewhere.

Reviews

[Sam Cambell]

I really like this. It's strong and dark. Your rhythm is off in places, and line 4 stanza 5 really rubbed me the wrong way, but I think your choice of rhyme scheme really inforced your message. I'm serious, with a few edits this could be the one of the best poems I've ever read. I especially loved the last stanza and how it parrelleled the first. REALLY good job.

[threelittlebirds]

so good... i would call you a miserable f****r but i write sad stuff too and i understand this there's so much truth in it, its extremely good

[neo]

tats one melancholic poem i hav come across..... oh dear o dear!!!

[indu]

made me sad :( but this is too gud..

[closed]

I thought that was really deep and very good! It made me sad though :( but I tend to write things that are always sad in the end (someone dies or something) so i get it xD

[Wolf]

This is really strong...like Chuck Norris strong.
---
She stabs the girl in the chest
---
Woa dark...didn't expect that at all...but I like dark stuff so yea..

[Miya]

Always my favorite (an apparntly evryon elses) good job, girl

[Dizzy D]

Damn...I love it because of all the emotion in it but I also hate it because of the despise I'm now feeling for the parents of the little girl. You did a wonderful job writing this and I say this is my favorite piece of yours. Bravo and kudos, bud :D

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem. Well Done! Oh the pain children have to bear because too many people look the other way.

[Kayleen]

this is a great premise and a heartbreaking story, but i think the execution of it needs some work. it almost seems like its trying a little to hard to be emotional. also the flow needs some tweaking in my opinion, but still effective and very creative and i like it :)