At the mercy of steroids

At the mercy of steroids

A Poem by fattycbreezy52
"

Steroids --------Marry me?

"
I am at the mercy of steroids
I am internally breaking down
Degradation is a heavy term
It's just I want to provide solace to my distressed heart.

It's not that I have forgotten the vastness of that azure sky
It's just I miss that ebullient sunshine;
The sun has to set after reaching a certain point in the sky
What other solution should I try,compelling it to stay?

I gather things and make a castle.A castle unlike fairytales!
Even if the castle turns out fantastical,who will be the fairy anyway?
The flashy gowns and murky hair will burden my in every way
I am really over with and out of my allowance,
So I just can't afford to pay.

If you want to love me,love me for what I am
What if I resent happiness and shake hands with distress?
The pain which steroids can understand
Is something which I want these humans to understand.



© 2015 fattycbreezy52



Author's Note

fattycbreezy52
thanks for reading lovely people

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Featured Review

A temporary relief? I dnt see why that should be such a problem for others. but still, anything that messes with your health never really helps on a long term. I like the concept and i like the justifications presented by the narrator to the reader. A good one Breezy girl :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

fattycbreezy52

3 Years Ago

Yeah because sometimes in life you can just afford to succumb to momentary happiness. That is why.Th.. read more
Isabel25

3 Years Ago

Lol..amazing person?...always happy to read you girl!



Reviews

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Sid
Searching solace in steroids. Not a good idea at all. Emotions are beautifully captured. Nice one.

Posted 3 Years Ago


An amazing writeup. The pain you express is profound and so is the sentiment of being misunderstood as well as the desire to be understood.

I am internally breaking down
It shows utmost distress and anguish. I liked the line but somehow I felt it'd be better to write it as ''I am breaking down internally'' or ''Internally, I am breaking down''.

It's just I want to provide solace to my distressed heart.
You missed out that in the line (by mistake I suppose)but the line is remarkable. All humans are fallible and when distressed we all seek out an easy way. Patience is just not for us twenty-first century people! :D It makes the use of steroids by people understandable and also emphasis that we should not see such people as lame, disgusting etc. which we have a habit of doing. They're depressed and in greater need of love and sympathy than others and instead of shunning them, we ought to make them feel better about themselves and the world so that they may be able to resurface.

It's not that I have forgotten the vastness of that azure sky
It's just I miss that ebullient sunshine;
The sun has to set after reaching a certain point in the sky
What other solution should I try,compelling it to stay?
Beautiful lines. Superb imagery. Absolutely loved these lines. The struggle for happiness is demonstrated so nicely through the sun. Just as sunshine doesn't always stay, so does happiness visit us occasionally. Thumbs up! :)

Even if the castle turns out fantastical,who will be the fairy anyway?
My most favourite line in the poem. To capture the reality or fantasticality of life in one line so easily is no easy job. Well done on this! :)
The pain which steroids can understand
Is something which I want these humans to understand.
A great way of ending the poem. It is not a plea for being understood but a slap on the faces of the people who refuse to understand. Beautifully written. :)

On the whole I'd say this is an outstanding poem. Hats off! :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


fattycbreezy52

3 Years Ago

Do you even know how awesome you actually are? I really love thr way you review my pieces.Taking out.. read more
Bushra Naqshbandi

3 Years Ago

Thank you a lot for such kind words. I actually love reading and reviewing your work. You've got gre.. read more
hmmm......
i can relate to that.........

"What if I resent happiness and shake hands with distress?
The pain which steroids can understand"

"I gather things and make a castle.A castle unlike fairytales!
Even if the castle turns out fantastical,who will be the fairy anyway?"

sun doesn't wait for anyone.......doesn't seek help.........or no opinion matter........
so why wait for the sun...........

dark.....profound write........
i loved it!!!
:)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

fattycbreezy52

3 Years Ago

Thanks for reading. I am glad you could relate:)
Pushkar Prabhat

3 Years Ago

you are welcome...........!!! :) :)
A temporary relief? I dnt see why that should be such a problem for others. but still, anything that messes with your health never really helps on a long term. I like the concept and i like the justifications presented by the narrator to the reader. A good one Breezy girl :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

fattycbreezy52

3 Years Ago

Yeah because sometimes in life you can just afford to succumb to momentary happiness. That is why.Th.. read more
Isabel25

3 Years Ago

Lol..amazing person?...always happy to read you girl!

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4 Reviews
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Added on April 16, 2015
Last Updated on April 20, 2015
Tags: steroids, pain.relief

Author

fattycbreezy52
fattycbreezy52

About
Music,dancing,singing,acting,dubbing,writing and playing with voices are my areas of specialization/existence. Being a Literature student,my love for Keats,Coleridge and Blake led me all the way to t.. more..

Writing