Annabelle

 

 

The morning sun

Deliberates its rise

But her breathing

In near sync

With the ocean

Cascades

While her hair

Falls through

My fingers

 

Each strand

Effortlessly

-Lands

Like the ebb

Of the tide

And then the sun

Completes its rise

 

And she is alive

Lying by my side

Attached with a smile

As she sleeps

 

Then the blinds block light

As my rest

Turns to open sight

And I look over

To my side (on my right)

Only to see

 

You were a mere dream

Of a dream

 

Do you even exist to me?

Reviews

[justjenn_2u]

I believe that dreams can be so much more satisfying than reality. Expectations that exist in dreams sometimes cause so much lack of satisfaction, such expecations which never seem to satisfy in this life we live.

As I read this poem, I could almost sense her presence. Nice flow of words with such depth.

[He@ther!]

Wow!!:) Excellent imagery!!!:) A poignant picture of a person wanting what they once had. It began so peacful, serene and romantic, but the happy atmosphere comes abruptly to a hault in the end. Beautifully written!!:) I felt every emotion that you described:)

[Kara Emily Krantz]

have you posted this one before? it seems so familiar to me....

well, regardless, i really enjoy it. i like the lyrical feel to it, and the sadness / loss at the end seems to fit perfectly, wrapping the poem up nicely.

great job with this one.

[Anna]

OOOHHH!!!! PRETTY! Lol I usually don't say that unless I'm being sarcastic and this time I wasn't.....Good job!

[Seriana]

Oh no!! I was smiling till I got to the end. So pretty and light-hearted. I could see her, there, next to you. And I smiled for happiness. Then, woke up. Dang Jason....dang the happy ending. Lovely write, and different, unexpected ending. I'm starting to expect this from you, yet every time you catch me off guard. Nicely done. Nice images of her, and beautifully expressed emotions. And I love the title, too. :)

[Brette Medb]

The ending caught me by surprise with its haunting loneliness. The poem had an ebb and flow of it's own and I loved that you used the ocean so well with it. There was only one thing I noticed in the last line, do you mean does or do you mean do? Haha that sentence sounded terrible but I hope you get what I mean. Great write.


Brette