Fight Off

Fight Off

A Poem by Zoe

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

outside the refuge,
of the mouse,
who turned the house,
upside-down.

With some cheese,
on a mouse-trap,
that would unwrap,
his skin brown.

And, oh, finally!
there comes he,
so very greedily,
looking around.

Attractive cheddar,
towards it he darts,
and then starts,
the countdown.

In no time he,
meets his death,
struggling for breath,
on the ground.

Struggles are what the world rests upon....*sighs*

© 2017 Zoe



Author's Note

Zoe
Had a vivid dream. Found myself repeating the last line over and over again. So...had to write this. Hope you like it.

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Featured Review

"And, oh, finally!
there comes he,
so very greedily,
looking around."

This stanza could be interpreted politically, socially, economically - but then, sometimes a mouse is just a mouse.

I have been writing a lot of "nonsense" myself lately, so I enjoyed this little gem.

I will be reading more of your work as i can during my work day, I usually only have time to pop into the Cafe a few times so the short pieces are perfect.

Nicely penned, Zoe.

Posted 1 Month Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Month Ago

Thank you, Carol! :) glad you enjoyed this little heap of nonsense. Lol.



Reviews

Intriguing poem. I like how it flows and leaves the reader wondering how much is actually metaphorical. Deep. I enjoyed it. :)

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Week Ago

Thanks much for reading and reviewing!
This is a very profound poem for one who is so young.
You have an interesting rhyme scheme, and a universal conclusion. Well done.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it!
I love the message and the way you expressed it. Kudos.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Week Ago

Thank you! I appreciate the review.
Sami Khalil

1 Week Ago

You are welcome. Anytime.
the moral of the story is great, that we should keep struggling and that's what another name of life... short and meaningful... also impressed with the poetic structure... Very nicely penned !!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you again! I truly appreciate it
It's that time of year. When the weather changes and the frosty breath of winter can be felt, the little beggars start to invade our homes. Nothing a bit of cheddar and a trap can't cure. I've found they really like peanut butter.
Good one, Zoe.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

2 Weeks Ago

Haha, Ill be sure to try peanut butter. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Ted!
It's very good. Especially the last line, holds so much in it. Keep sharing!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

3 Weeks Ago

Thanks, Suhd! I appreciate the review
Incredible poem!

"In no time he,
meets his death,
struggling for breath,
on the ground."

So vivid and clear! it was dark but brought a great message! Loved it!

C. Lee battaglia

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

3 Weeks Ago

Thanks much for your very kind words. Appreciated!
You are extremely talented, better than a lot of veteran writers on this site, including me. Keep at it, good stuff!

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

4 Weeks Ago

Thank you! I appreciate your time and review
This is something that's different from your other writings.I enjoyed it. You have very well written it.

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

4 Weeks Ago

Thank you, Priyanshi! :)
Priyanshi

4 Weeks Ago

My pleasure.
I had a dream about a mouse once. But quite horrifying! ha ha.
This poem is really a good read. So imaginative!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Month Ago

Thanks, NB! I appreciate your feedback.
NerdyBeauty

1 Month Ago

You're welcome, Zoe :P

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Added on September 8, 2017
Last Updated on September 21, 2017

Author

Zoe
Zoe

India



About
Hey there! I am a fourteen-year old girl, a fantasist, an aspiring fiction writer and yes, how can I forget, a proud Martinian! I love to read and write fiction. It makes me jump with enthusiasm when .. more..

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