Fight Off

Fight Off

A Poem by Zoe

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

outside the refuge,
of the mouse,
who turned the house,
upside-down.

With some cheese,
on a mouse-trap,
that would unwrap,
his skin brown.

And, oh, finally!
there comes he,
so very greedily,
looking around.

Attractive cheddar,
towards it he darts,
and then starts,
the countdown.

In no time he,
meets his death,
struggling for breath,
on the ground.

Struggles are what the world rests upon....*sighs*

© 2017 Zoe



Author's Note

Zoe
Had a vivid dream. Found myself repeating the last line over and over again. So...had to write this. Hope you like it.

My Review

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Featured Review

"And, oh, finally!
there comes he,
so very greedily,
looking around."

This stanza could be interpreted politically, socially, economically - but then, sometimes a mouse is just a mouse.

I have been writing a lot of "nonsense" myself lately, so I enjoyed this little gem.

I will be reading more of your work as i can during my work day, I usually only have time to pop into the Cafe a few times so the short pieces are perfect.

Nicely penned, Zoe.

Posted 3 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

3 Months Ago

Thank you, Carol! :) glad you enjoyed this little heap of nonsense. Lol.



Reviews

Such an awesome dark tone you've created with this poem, my friend. It's very thought provoking and philosophical and it's got me thinking about some things...

Great job!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Month Ago

Ah, glad it left you thinking. Thank you for your time and review. I appreciate it!
lots of ways for this to be taken ..but the theme is strong ... greed an Achilles heel for sure .. closing grabs me ..very thought provoking ... struggles do play such an important role in life ..no denying it
E.
ps i love vivd dreams ;)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Month Ago

Thank you, Einstein, for your time and review! Vivid dreams do prove to be quite productive.
*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

Gosh-darn... I knew not a poetess exists such as this, inside the cats nest does she peer quick, a sly brown mouse, abstract spy? Linear does she pounce, but perhaps the wily mouse beguiles with jet-pack bounce awry!
Haha... I mean you either get it you you don't... I am sorry, hah, I had to get you back...!
But seriously, I had no clue you were such a good poetess..! ONTOP of being a slaying-dragons kinda story writer... Pffft... I am impressed with this topic-staying, straying game of cat and mouse... Although the cat in this scenario is time, and a mousetrap... The mouse... Is a mouse... Loved it!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Month Ago

Aha...I take after you! Lol. Thank you, though. It means much XD
Juero

3 Weeks Ago

i'm not disappointed what can i say? keep writing amigos
Zoe

3 Weeks Ago

You too. Thanks for the drop in.
love can trap a rat! thanks for the lovely poem.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Month Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Intriguing poem. I like how it flows and leaves the reader wondering how much is actually metaphorical. Deep. I enjoyed it. :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

2 Months Ago

Thanks much for reading and reviewing!
This is a very profound poem for one who is so young.
You have an interesting rhyme scheme, and a universal conclusion. Well done.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it!
I love the message and the way you expressed it. Kudos.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

2 Months Ago

Thank you! I appreciate the review.
Sami Khalil

2 Months Ago

You are welcome. Anytime.
the moral of the story is great, that we should keep struggling and that's what another name of life... short and meaningful... also impressed with the poetic structure... Very nicely penned !!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

2 Months Ago

Thank you again! I truly appreciate it
It's that time of year. When the weather changes and the frosty breath of winter can be felt, the little beggars start to invade our homes. Nothing a bit of cheddar and a trap can't cure. I've found they really like peanut butter.
Good one, Zoe.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

2 Months Ago

Haha, Ill be sure to try peanut butter. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Ted!
It's very good. Especially the last line, holds so much in it. Keep sharing!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

2 Months Ago

Thanks, Suhd! I appreciate the review

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Added on September 8, 2017
Last Updated on September 21, 2017

Author

Zoe
Zoe

India



About
Hey there! I am a fourteen-year old girl, a fantasist, an aspiring fiction writer and yes, how can I forget, a proud Martinian! I love to read and write fiction. It makes me jump with enthusiasm when .. more..

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