Fight Off

Fight Off

A Poem by Zoe

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

outside the refuge,
of the mouse,
who turned the house,
upside-down.

With some cheese,
on a mouse-trap,
that would unwrap,
his skin brown.

And, oh, finally!
there comes he,
so very greedily,
looking around.

Attractive cheddar,
towards it he darts,
and then starts,
the countdown.

In no time he,
meets his death,
struggling for breath,
on the ground.

Struggles are what the world rests upon....*sighs*

© 2017 Zoe



Author's Note

Zoe
Had a vivid dream. Found myself repeating the last line over and over again. So...had to write this. Hope you like it.

My Review

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Featured Review

"And, oh, finally!
there comes he,
so very greedily,
looking around."

This stanza could be interpreted politically, socially, economically - but then, sometimes a mouse is just a mouse.

I have been writing a lot of "nonsense" myself lately, so I enjoyed this little gem.

I will be reading more of your work as i can during my work day, I usually only have time to pop into the Cafe a few times so the short pieces are perfect.

Nicely penned, Zoe.

Posted 5 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

5 Months Ago

Thank you, Carol! :) glad you enjoyed this little heap of nonsense. Lol.



Reviews

It's good that you capture your ideas quickly as they come. Keep doing that and listen to your muse or inner voice.
You just make my heart happy with the way you write! And if you make me feel like this, millions more will feel like this. God has seriously blessed you with so many things, and poetry is definitely one of them. You are a leader, with so much love to give, so much truth to expose.

WELL DONE!!!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Month Ago

Thank you again for the review, BlakPrince! I appreciate it. Will return the favour soon.
You could have let the poor mouse eat the cheddar if he was to die anyhow 😂😂😂.. AMAZING... Great work Zoe.. this is the first peice that I read.. and definitely looking forward for more... It's short and funny and dark at the same time... And I loved the last line... Good luck

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Month Ago

Thanks a lot for the review! I appreciate it :)
heartspeaks

1 Month Ago

My pleasure... Anytime
The poor mouse never got his cheddar. The general consensus is that people do share struggles and while other struggles are far more personal. Very enjoyable poem! :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

1 Month Ago

Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for reading! :)
This could be interpreted in some literal way.maybe that was what your dream was about.hard to find answers in dreams.there like a maze leading you to another direction.maybe this was just something fun to write.I liked it


Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

2 Months Ago

It certainly was fun! Thank you for your words here, KC! I appreciate them :)
Such an awesome dark tone you've created with this poem, my friend. It's very thought provoking and philosophical and it's got me thinking about some things...

Great job!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

3 Months Ago

Ah, glad it left you thinking. Thank you for your time and review. I appreciate it!
lots of ways for this to be taken ..but the theme is strong ... greed an Achilles heel for sure .. closing grabs me ..very thought provoking ... struggles do play such an important role in life ..no denying it
E.
ps i love vivd dreams ;)

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

3 Months Ago

Thank you, Einstein, for your time and review! Vivid dreams do prove to be quite productive.
*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

Gosh-darn... I knew not a poetess exists such as this, inside the cats nest does she peer quick, a sly brown mouse, abstract spy? Linear does she pounce, but perhaps the wily mouse beguiles with jet-pack bounce awry!
Haha... I mean you either get it you you don't... I am sorry, hah, I had to get you back...!
But seriously, I had no clue you were such a good poetess..! ONTOP of being a slaying-dragons kinda story writer... Pffft... I am impressed with this topic-staying, straying game of cat and mouse... Although the cat in this scenario is time, and a mousetrap... The mouse... Is a mouse... Loved it!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

3 Months Ago

Aha...I take after you! Lol. Thank you, though. It means much XD
Vallah

3 Months Ago

i'm not disappointed what can i say? keep writing amigos
Zoe

3 Months Ago

You too. Thanks for the drop in.
love can trap a rat! thanks for the lovely poem.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

4 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Intriguing poem. I like how it flows and leaves the reader wondering how much is actually metaphorical. Deep. I enjoyed it. :)

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

4 Months Ago

Thanks much for reading and reviewing!
This is a very profound poem for one who is so young.
You have an interesting rhyme scheme, and a universal conclusion. Well done.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

4 Months Ago

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it!

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29 Reviews
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Added on September 8, 2017
Last Updated on September 21, 2017

Author

Zoe
Zoe

India



About
A fifteen-year-old. Aspiring writer. Proud Martinian. Love reading, sketching, sleeping, watching horror movies, few sports, and writing of course. Feel free to criticise my work or just simply pu.. more..

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