Big Cities

Life was never the same after I found myself traversing those broad, mirage-stricken roads.

The thing about big cities is that the moment you enter one, the very first feeling that hijacks your mind is a feeling of being lost; and that's not a bad kind of lost either.

My mom says that life becomes unsatisfactory if not miserable when you move from a metropolis into a town while the opposite happens when you move from a smaller city into a bigger one. The first time I partly understood what she meant by this was when I turned eleven. My dad kicked me and my mom out of his house(which I thought had been ours); and as far as I can remember, life was nothing but incarceration after then. Nothing or no one held us captive yet we were the prisoners.

The trees would give you shade yet it would never be enough. My mom found a job which did award her a salary but the salary was never enough to buy us something more than a one-room shelter, a few tins of food and a blanket that failed to warm our feet. Some people say that that happens when you stretch your legs way beyond the margins of the mattress that you deserve, but trust me, it was the blanket that had fallen short that time.

You must have realised that after staring into that six by three inch screen for a fair amount of time, it becomes almost impossible to look or think beyond. That little, dank corner had worked wonders on my mind. It had started to become my safe place, a home I never wished to create. I wanted to fly, but those four walls wouldn't let me spread my wings.

Time heals, yet we fear risking too much time in the rehabilitation of our soul. It is a big restraint; we live for it and, ironically, we die for it, too. For those who have ever tried to achieve something in life know that opportunities are plenty and that God doesn't make you wait. You do.

There'll come a time in your life when you realise that you've got to take that big leap. And soon, you'll also realise that big cities aren't far after all. They've always been just a thought away.

And in the end, it is all about the distance between your mind and your soul. Overcome it, and life will become meaningful, again.

Author's Note

Wheww...boards are finally over(for those who had to go through them ever, I sympathize). Anyway, I have missed posting on here. Would love to hear your thoughts on this one :)

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Zoya. I would consider this more prose than poem. I think it would benefit if you lengthened the story. We've gotten bits & pieces of what could be extraordinary. I would like to see you take this and make it more of a short story. Read it over, there is a good plot line here. Expand on it. The voice of your protagonist is good. I'd like to read more.

If you choose to re-write this piece, read request me...I'd like to see how it turns out.

P.S. You're doing well for sixteen...keep writing.

[Zoya]

I totally understand what you're saying! I haven't rewritten it but have added a line or two here and there. Up to you if you want to check it out. Thank you very much for your time :)

[Brenda Alicia]

Yes, I agree with Ted. This seems like the beginning of a fantastic novel! I want to read more- keep writing (:

[Zoya]

Thank you, Brenda! I appreciate it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I live in a big city but I would prefer a small city.
"There'll come a time in your life when you realise that you've got to take that big leap. And soon, you'll also realise that big cities aren't far after all. They've always been just a thought away."
The above lines are correct dear Zoya. Thank you for sharing the amazing words and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Zoya]

Thank you so much, Coyote. I appreciate your kind words :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[barleygirl]

This is full of originality, yet the points you make are resonating fully. I personally do not agree that going from small to big is a step in the right direction, but it doesn't matter, becuz your interesting philosophical pondering is mostly symbolic anyway. "City" can be whatever it is we reach for, that's outside what we think we can attain. I love how brutally honest you are about how it is to live poor, without being dramatic about it, just matter-of-fact. Lots of people in this country do not understand how hard are the lives of people who are poor & they are inadvertently dismissive of poverty, as if it's the person's fault. To me, the best writing resonates with sparkling self-honesty, as does yours (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Zoya]

Thank you for this beautiful review, Margie. It means a lot to me ^-^

[Suhd]

A very well written write-up. Full of pathos. Poignant!

[Zoya]

Thanks a lot, Suhd! So glad you liked it :)

[BlackPrince]

I really find your story here inspirational. Your observation on life is compassionate, loving and truthful. I can relate to everything in it.
It's a necessary reminder for me at this stage of my life.

'Time heals, yet we fear risking too much time in the rehabilitation of our soul.'
'And in the end it is all about the distance between your mind and your soul.'

I encourage you to keep on writing more and more to perfect your craft as a writer. The world needs to read and hear someone like you.

Well done!

[Zoya]

I'm happy you were inspired, that's what I was aiming for! Thank you so much for your time :)

[Connor Shane]

is this a true story? im sorry if it is! either way, good advice! to bridge the gap between you and your mind and make peace, thus letting you do what you want to do. and only us can make it possible. nice. same goes to you tho ok?

[Zoya]

Fortunately it's fiction! I appreciate your review, thank you :)

[wordman]

i think you summed it up well at the end
some people are made for country life.some need that hustle and bustle of a big city

[Zoya]

True. Thank you so much for your time and review :)

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[Wild Rose]

Ah Zoya > I can fully appreciate most of what you have written here
I say most because I haven't experienced being kicked out of home

Even moving to anther city you feel lost (and alone)
The room is never as you wish > not even if you took a caravan with lots more space

It is a good write it transmits your feelings

[Zoya]

Haha, I haven't experienced that either!
You're so right, changing cities can really be a headache. Thank you for your time and words :)

[Onlyme]

Zoya I agree with Ted, with was an exceptional piece of writing. And take Ted up on is offer. And bravo young lady. I enjoyed this a whole lot.

[Zoya]

I am so glad you did. Thank you so much! :)