Vines on an old brick house.

A journal entry :)

Translating from pen to keyboard:

I realize I write better on paper. My thoughts flow out like a river on a spring morning. I haven't written in a month or so, but I feel I am coming closer to my own realization. I have been getting more in touch with myself and letting my fears fall off like cloths. Slowly but surely. It has been a year and three months without marijuana. My spirituality is growing like a vine on an old brick house. I am coming alive mentally and physically. I still struggle, but I am learning to control my emotions and BEING in the moment. That's why we are Human-BEINGS. It is what we are supposed to do. To BE. I did have a breakdown the other night. I feel so lost sometimes, like I am just wandering around without a compass. My emotions and fears leading me to my unforeseeable future. And it scares me more because I want the control, however, I see my fears mold my reality and paint my future. At times I don't know how to stop it or what to do. I get stuck in these vines and they choke me. They sense my hesitation to grow and change. They tighten me up to realize I need to breathe and when I am about to choke they release gently to grasp my own self harming choke hold. I have to find faith in myself. I have gotten so used to my own black hole that I forget there are stars amidst. My energy comes and goes like waves on the shore. it's so hard to stay focused. I pray every night for a vision; there is this beautiful house, covered corners in vines, by the seashore. A young, beautiful, and wise woman beyond her years. She is meditating and teaching others. Happy at last.

Reviews

[KT-B]

I love this, this perfectly sums up how I feel most of the time too, struggling to find a purpose, find something that's really going to make a difference to someone, but having had an idea getting choked by the vine again and not doing anything.... this really is a fantastic piece of writing - well done

[Rana]

I can't tell you how much I love this lovely piece of work, of art! Right from the first line, or rather, right from the title, I could see skillfulness. I maintain a journal too (in fact, a journal entry was the first thing I ever wrote and what got me started into writing! Was it the same with you!?), so this warm wave of familiarity ran through me when I began reading it and I could instantly connect and had this smile on my face. This entry is a beautiful product of the beautiful need to express. I really love your use of simile and metaphor! And I love all the freely flowing thoughts, all so natural and unadulterated. Ok, there is just a tiny typo in
*It is what we are 'suppose' to do. (supposed)
* I have gotten () used to my own black hole that I forget there are stars amidst. (so) - you missed a 'so'.
Other than that, there's a lovely shade of perfection. Nat, sure, we have no control on Fate but we do have complete control on ourselves. Decisive Decisions are our weapons to win the battles of life. I wish you all the best for everything! xoxo

[Writeforlovely]

Life is a wonderful mess! Haha! Yes, I started my first journal when I was like 16 years old. After that I become obsessed with reading and then from there I just started writing. I've loved it ever since. Isn't it crazy how some things lead to another?

Ps. Thanks for the corrections. I'll make sure to fix those. Wish you well, Rana! xoxo

[Rana]

Ooooh I'm glad you did, and never stop writing, Nat, well I know you won't haha :) Take care, fellow writer :3 :D