The Bullet's Hiss

she thought she got me

Dawn is creeping, the time has come
The darkness escaping, what's done is done
I hope to remember our final night
I hope you remember how hard you cried
It is morning, I close my eyes
You dream a dream, I tell a lie
A broken portrait, a running fall
I look to you, you know it all
The door creaks, the bullet's hiss
I knew you would refuse to miss
I looked at you ... and sighed
We kissed our last goodbye

Reviews

[x]

This is fantastic. A brilliant capture full of artistic representation of a breakup. What I loved the most was the scene with the bullet because for me, that image utterly expresses the destruction of the lovers.
The broken portrait, the running fall, magnificent.
So, overall, this definately has that little bit extra going on that is often lacking in other writes dealing with this issue.

[Michael X]

Wow, that is awsome.. the hiss, the cry, the infinite sadness, just plays on the reader's heart, keep it up.