Silence

a poem I wrote when sitting in a room full of strangers, that first word is always the hardest to speak.

Sitting in silence 

You could almost hear a pin drop 

Sitting so still

You could hear my breath stop

The ice has finally been broken 

Long moments of quiet 

And the first word has been spoken

Author's Note

please give me your honest opinion, just please, don't be rude

Reviews

[xx]

You convey the strain of the situation well with this poem; I'm no stranger to the feeling of being in a room full of people who are too hesitant to speak to one another and yet are uncomfortable maintaining the silence. I've always said that awkwardness is collective; if one person breaks the chain, the rest will follow. If one person breaches the dam, the river will flow.

Line two, however, has a misspelling. "Here" should be spelled "hear," but other than that one typo, I see no errors.

The metaphor in line five is particularly apt, a safe choice to use as a parallel for the situation. This is a short poem, but as I said earlier, it succeeds in conveying the appropriate emotions.

Keep writing! :)

-Mina

[Emerald Seas]

I like it. The short style, economy of words, gets your point across and is fitting for the subject matter. We get so worked up over what we fear, rather than the situation itself. You illustrate that well here.