I'm Sorry I Did Not Stay

A goodbye note without saying goodbye.

Don't smile, it might make me stay.
I wish I can steal you, and convince you to runaway.
I'm not the kind of person to smile back.
Tell me you love me before I begin to pack.
It's cold, and my eyes are dry,
But if you touch me I might cry.
Don't say farwell, or even take care.
I'll get there soon, I just don't know where.
I'm sorry if I caused you pain.
I've asked myself a thousand times if I was sane.
Sane to live, sane to stay.
Sane any day.
I'll start the car before you see.
I left you alittle something on our favorite tree.
I might not call or write,
But remember you I might.
They said I'll stay forever in this broken town.
With no future, and a fallen frown.
But I'll choose my path as I run.
This is my life, and I don't want it to be done.

Try not to be sad,

And please don't waste your time on being mad.

I would tell you the words in my heart if I knew how.

But if I don't leave right now.
I'll rot away in my closed up box.
With a shattered heart that's covered with steel locks.
I'll say your name everyday.
I'm sorry that I did not stay.

Author's Note

:) I actully like this.

Reviews

[Travis Lawrence]

So do I, it's my favorite poem of yours so far. There's more going on here than what you say, which is why.

Love these lines:

"I wish I can still you, and convince you to runaway."

"Sane to live, sane to stay.
Sane any day."

"I left you alittle something on favorite tree."

This reminds me of The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. Great job :-)

Have a nice day!

-Travis

[stipe]

you changed it? If so, it's better, way better, if not, um, perhaps my reviewing is influenced by circumstances etc. But I really like this, really, really.

[Jacquelene Vanessa More..]

i believe we've all been through this and our portrayl was very relative

[stipe]

Cold. Triumphant. Sad for the one left behind, exciting for the one leaving.

[Joseph - Michael]

That was quite an impressive way of writing to say good bye without seeing the person. I can't say that there's any of them that need to be adjust or such

So, it's all really great and I'll be adding this one to my list...

[Carrie Montgomery]

I'll say your name everyday.
I'm sorry that I did not stay." so hauntingly sad. I loved this. Congrats on your win!

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This one is really a very sad piece :(
A goodbye note even without saying a goodbye, but actually said even more than that!
This piece is really full of pain and regret.
"I'll say your name everyday.
I'm sorry that I did not stay."-Such a beautiful end!
A damn impressive piece and a great write overall :)

[[untitled]]

This is really a good poem. I think the structure was great. It really gave the poem more power. I love the line "I'll rot away in my closed up box." That is good.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

"Don't smile, it might make me stay."

what a great beginning. i LOVE that beginning. great first line.

"I wish I can steal you, and convince you to runaway."

i'm thinking you meant: "I wish I could steal you, and convince you to run away."
could instead of can and seperate run and away. :)

"It's cold, and my eyes are dry,
But if you touch me I might cry."

like that a lot.

"I've asked myself a thousand times if I was sane."

havent we all done this? great line

"They said I'll stay forever in this broken town....

This is my life, and I don't want it to be done."

great right there. i love how you turned it into more than just leaving the person - you're leaving the life and the town and people's assumptions abotu you behind. and really LIVING your life. because if you were to stay, that would be the end of your story. and you want more.


"I'll say your name everyday.
I'm sorry that I did not stay."

everything between those last two lines, and the the one i commented on before " i dont' wnat to be done" ... is sort of repetitive...and i almost feel like you could cut it out. but that's just me...

regardless, i really enjoyed this. no wonder you like it :)

hugs

[forfila]

awe, such a tale of pain and regret. Mixed with such love and maybe a little confussion. I liked it, a good idea well penned.. Nice.

Love
Me

[a Messenger]

Erin, you are rapidly moving to the top of my list of favorite writers. Every piece I read by you surpasses the one I read before. This is another that will make it's way to my favs.