Crazy

The urge is here, and don't know what to do with it

Pipes roaring with water, rusted faucet 

Bedridden, starving, with red meat rotting out of reach

Miles of black wire under isolated desert, and while no one was paying attention one spot frayed

A single point of disconnect, and there's silence on the other end no matter how loud you scream.

Nothing to say, but needing to say it

Learning to paint without paint

Play the piano with bloodless severed fingers gripped each sweaty palm -- an old amputation

How do you keep trying if you don't know what you're trying to do?

Eat without a mouth; try to get the noise out without a mouth.

It's like everything is so fast it's fuzzy

It's like everything is so fast it's standing still

It's like nothing is moving, and has never moved, and will never move again

Life not keeping pace with itself

Nothing moving, nothing making a sound. It gets loud when it's too quiet.

I sound crazier than I think I am

Unconsciously curating insanity with words, or unconsciously curating sanity in thoughts?

I'm crazy, but the boring kind -- amplified, not distorted

Inflating the same worry and loneliness and insecurity and misery as everyone else into a misshapen caricature 

All the same but louder, too loud, always too loud all the time until I go deaf and it's too quiet again.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you absolutely portray the feelings many of us have at many different times in our lives. When everything seems opposite of what it is...silent screams...moving too fast but glued to a spot...
running in circles in our mind.
quiet can be so unnerving can't it?
really like your work.
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the strong statements, I liked the visual statements. You made the reader see and believe every word. I liked the drive and the energy of the word. I enjoyed reading the words. Thank you Sylvia for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Jessica]

Great poem! I love the contradictions. I think the poem represents someone trying to work through mental illness and it makes everything impossible. The things that should be simple are hard and I think the contradictions represent that.