Love, Annie.

Sunday.
November 8, 2009.

 

Dear Diary,

 

These few days have been rough. People in my new school don't really understand my condition, they think that I'm some kind of freak. It hurts, a lot. Everyday in the canteen I can tell everyone is shooting me weird glares, mocking the fact that I'm different. 

 

Mommy says that being different is fine. It makes me special. She says that to me every night before I go to bed, just to make me feel better... and I love her for that. I wish I was back in Tennessee. People there are more open; more friendly. They know what it's like - how hard it is to be in my situation. 

 

It's only been a week but I feel trapped and helpless in school. Mommy's told the teachers about my... problem. At least they understand. I don't know why they don't want to tell my other classmates about me, though. Maybe it's because they're afraid of scaring them off.

 

I'm going to the hospital tomorrow. Mommy says she doesn't know how long I'll be there for, because it depends on how bad my condition has become. I'm scared, but Mommy says there's nothing to worry about because I'll be just fine. She told me that pretty soon I'll be able to live a normal life again, without having to go to the hospital for treatment anymore. I can't wait til' that day comes. Mommy promised to take me ice-skating in the winter, visit my grandparents back home, and just have fun. Something  I haven't been able to do in a long time. 

The truth is, I overheard Mommy speaking to the doctor the other day. I could tell Mommy was distraught, because her voice went all squeaky and high like how it sounded whenever she cried. I hope she's alright. I heard her yelling at the doctor defensively, and then she just broke down in tears. I heard the doctor's distinct words - "She won't make it past a year". I decided not to let Mommy know that I knew. It would just kill her inside even more. 

 

I kind of know that my days are limited. All I can do now is hope that everything will go well at the doctor's tomorrow, hopefully he got it mixed up; hopefully I will survive. I can beat cancer. I know it.

 

Love,
Annie.

Reviews

[annie.]

I know what this is like.
My name is Annie, and I have child cancer in my kidney
Weird.
I do think that this expresses what it's like fabulously.
I felt so happy reading it.

[David C. Landers]

Oh lord, kittens in danger and children dying of cancer, two of the things that can really pierce my heart. Good write :) Thanks for letting me feel this emotion at which I so desperately need to feel right now.

[mariah]

this is so ridiculously good. is there more?

[Andrew'sWonderland]

This is such an amazing write! Half way through, I was in tears. I do so hope this is just a fictious entry and if not I hope all goes well!

[Lena M. P.]

Working in a children's hospital I see children like Annie everyday. I can tell you that they are the strongest, bravest and kindest people in the world. When I first went to work here back in 1991 I wasn't sure I was up for the task. One day I was heading to the gift shop and two young teenagers went racing by me in their wheelchairs with their bandanna's around their heads. One of them even "popped a wheelie" with his chair. The the bet each other that the last one to the gist shop had to buy the candy. I was amazed. It changed my life and my mind. I have been working there ever since. Their bravery and fabulous outlook on life taught me that if they could be strong so could I. If you are one of these "special people" my hats off to you and my prayers are with you and your family. Miracles happen every day.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Oh what a heartbreaking diary posting.. this was truly sad. If this is your reality.. not just a creative writing then I applaud you on your bravery for staying brave for mom, yourself and being a fighter. People do beat cancer.. it can be done.. and a positive mind frame helps in that battle. This is a reminder to all that no one should take life for granted.. and live life to the fullest.

There are so many cases.. and some are more easy to treat than other forms.. this is a beautiful and painful release.. that has even touched my own family.. I hope you conquer it! My prayers go out to you.. and your family. Well penned and well I am speechless from your emotions and with that said.. thank you for sharing.