We All Fall Down

I thought there'd be an escape clause you whispered 'you're mine or else' vacant hearts call for immediate transfusion it's not about love, it's about power in a weakened moment I fell prey to evil peaceful memories washed down with vodka ply me with liquor so I'm your lust slave we did Satan's tango for while and I was on fire taunt me with your empty promises of change some lessons are learned the harshest of ways that day I looked into your soulful eyes a dreamlike facade concealing hell's torment no turning back, no exchanges, no happy returns no one caught my flight down the dark abyss attempting to exhale you like flames in my lungs smoke clears after the fact, we all fall down screaming, fiery taunts of live and learn

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

The image you have chosen for the avatar for your words interpreted by me as, "Oh God, this has surely not happened to me - did someone not notice what was happening; you turned your head the other way, while I was repeatedly made your lust slave, yours - over and over" and sets the tone for such descriptions as the smoke is inhaled, and then exhaled, the lungs scarred with the horror of it all, the flames rip one apart, as the redness, the allure of the lips beckon one to partake in more!
Your words are gripping, descriptions excellent!!
What a cruel world we are often "invited" to revel in!!

[Frieda P]

I didn't even notice you in my head whilst I was writing this Shelia! Thanks for the great review.

[LA Lorena]

A very moving write Frieda. Sometimes your words are very difficult to read, but that makes it all the more necessary to do so. Enough turning the other way and not seeing to last for a lifetime. A great write.

[Coyote Poetry]

"we did Satan's tango for while and I was on fire"
I like the complete poem. I like the description and the road trip to the dark abyss. No weakness in the excellent poem. The strong language and tale was outstanding.
Coyote

[kelvin]

good writing here again nobody's perfect we all fall off and danced or tangoed with the devil so to speak who can say they never done anything wrong or have regrets on issues yes some even have found comfort in the bottle no matter if it was a bottle of milk or bottle of vodka but still they found comfort every person has experienced some form of torment some more then other some you can see it in their eyes other you can't life is a test so to speak some pass some fail and others try not to fail but the rest just don't give a you know what

[Frieda P]

Agreed, that's why it's title is 'we' all fall down, I wasn't gonna fall down all by myself :)

[kelvin]

hahaha that's right not all by yourself the ones laying down looking up better get off the ground and pick it up

[Sid]

Wow, powerful write, intensely described; your use of words is great in this piece. You describe the abusive relationship so darned well, raw and so honest and hard hitting...great write!!

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much for your kind words....much appreciated.

[Ruth]

Intense piece! The loss of self is sometimes hard to regain...the passion here and thrilling aspect to such is remarkable :) Enjoyed!

[Frieda P]

Thank you muchly, glad you enjoyed it.

[Ruth]

Most welcome :)

[That_Girl]

Without a doubt, my favorite piece from you, Frieda. This is gorgeous. Brilliant. Damn I'm envious! Just... I LOVE this. Love it.

[Frieda P]

you can't outgrow crazy ;-)
Thanks for your kind words and the add, I'm humbled...

[That_Girl]

Who would even want to...? ;) Always welcome.

[Frieda P]

Not I, said the annoying tomato ;-)

[That_Girl]

I wanna be the silly orange. :D Kidding... what? lol

[Frieda P]

eww that tawkin one, freaks me the f**k out ;) haa

[That_Girl]

lol Annoying orange? I know. "Hey Apple..." Stupid f*****g..... I mean, uhmmm... damn I'm tired. lol

[John Stussy]

That dance of use and abuse is ridiculously easy to fall into, and your poem captured the fiery mess that ensues. A little drink, some sweetly muttered words and transparent promises, and the best of us can tumble into a wretched hell of lies and lust. The emotional burns left as the residue of such occurrences leave messy scars, and sometimes if we're lucky those scars will keep us out of falling back into that trap. If we're lucky, mind. Really well penned poem, I enjoyed the read greatly.

[Lily Mae]

Oh.."exhale you from the flames in my lungs." I could feel the burn.. Passionate write my friend...xo

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Wow! A powerful and well penned description of an 'abusive' relationship where one person is merely a means to an end.
Savage and raw.

[Frieda P]

Made me smile to get a 'wow' from you, thank you kindly.

[Natasha]

"we did Satan's tango for while and I was on fire"--brilliant line!!

i loved that you touched on the need for it to be power- people like that don't really care about the act, they care about being forceful and seeking that triumph of being in CONTROL of the person..

sorry that you had to live through this or someone you knew had to- very unfortunate

[Frieda P]

That just so happens to be my favorite line-the Tango is so erotic, I figure stick the devil to it and it says a lot...thanks for your thoughts and reviewing.