~EXpir'd Dance

untimely teeming downpours,

     my tears slid down your cheeks

as your heart bled unto my soul

    without concessions revelation's pulse,

alas, beating eyes speak in disclosure 

    proclamations etch'd in blood

envelop'd the yielding surface skin

    strapped to a behindhand'd watch

that read a confession of surrender

   at quarter past indignity and 

half past sinful indulgences

   rollback was warranted

but time had earlier run out

   faith expired on the second hand

dance end'd when the music laps'd

     love died an untimely death

...whilst the band play'd burning violins

Author's Note

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Time dripped into the bottom of the hourglass at the same speed in which the rain poured, the tears fell, and the heart bled and dribbled down, only to have your lover realize far too late and try to fix things that can be repaired no longer. I quite enjoyed this one; it's a clever take on the hourglass concept presented uniquely with a metaphor twisted in delicately . . .

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille Tai, exactly, always jazz'd to read your reviews..

[Lydia Shutter]

When someone is so close to you that your tears slide down his/her cheeks and his/her heartache becomes yours, it would be nice if no expiration date existed. Unfortunately, “stuff” happens and at “at quarter past indignity and half past sinful indulgences” things we did not expect often occur. Indeed, an untimely death of a romance.....one no one could have predicted. The metaphor throughout is perfect. The emotions are intense and honest. Wonderful work, Frieda...but that is no surprise. Lydi**

[Frieda P]

You're too kind Lydikey, thanks so much my friend.

[Lydia Shutter]

Never too kind....just truthful.

[Coyote Poetry]

No peace for the heart when open doors are closed forever. I could feel the sadness in the poem. I like the use of the violin. It is a solemn instrument. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Very sad violin, thanks Coyote.

[SAYED THANGAL]

very nice attempt

[Frieda P]

Thanks sayed.

[Raymond Federle]

Very nice. The music kinda threw me a little. That polka new age beat was alright but unexpected. lol Happens to me to.. sometimes I find some music that I like to go with a poem and then it throws everyone else.

[Frieda P]

Polka new age beat, never heard of that hahah, thanks Raymond... ;-)

[Raymond Federle]

I don't know what to call that song... but that's what it sounded like to me! sounds like the guy from the band 'Dire Straights' a little bit.

[Frieda P]

You don't know Leonard Cohen? He's a poetic genius....

[Cassie]

trapped to a behindhand'd watch
that read a confession of surrender
at quarter past indignity and
half past sinful indulgences

ehh Frieda, how does your brain process such words think of something and bring out the picture well? how do you do it? This is an extremely beautiful piece, your brain, your pen are always at work....keep them coming

[Frieda P]

Ahh grazie mille my sweet friend....

[Avinash]

Indeed a very beautiful poem which deals with the intricacies of love and inevitability of its end.
Truth is we love the moments we spend while being in love and like all good things in life it too comes with an expiry date. But we can always cherish the moment.
I like to repeat these lines of Winnie the Pooh " Don't be sad that it got over, be happy that it happened"

[Frieda P]

Good old Pooh, thanks Avinash.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Perfection!
The whole piece is excellent as well as the choice of the music video. I must say...the video is perfect for the poem (I watched it until the end) especially the title and the repetition of the line "dance me to the end of love".

"...a confession of surrender
at quarter past indignity and
half past sinful indulgences"

Every story has end...so as a love song. A story of forbidden love is always bittersweet, Frieda.
Superb!

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Dhaye, glad you enjoyed!

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

This poem is very beautiful. Great write Frieda. :)

Kaze~

[Frieda P]

Thanks Kaze :-)

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome. :)