~reason's unseasoned rhyme

~reason's unseasoned rhyme

A Poem by Frieda P
"

_whispered whimsy_

"
paused to surrender
             my breath
 in spring's
 aspirations of familiarity's
           wildflower blooms,
 tasted like whispered 
whimsy of sunrise
     on an early summer's morn,
felt like butterflies
            flitting on lusty sun showers dawn,
    appeared as dazzling as a brilliant
     bolt of lightning's storm
      after the rains of meteor's hail,
fall heard prelude's demise
       in the coup de grâce
   of dusky autumnal twilights at
          eventide's calling
 winter's gusty chill 
    took a nasty spill in 
              finality's frigid  tundra 
iced of insignificance in 
                    snow-flaked frosted rhymes 

“The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of... We know the truth not only by the reason, but by the heart." - Blaise Pascal”

© 2014 Frieda P


Author's Note

Frieda P
Art~Andrew Atroshenko -Wishful



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Featured Review

Having survived the nastiest winter in recent memory. a lot of it working outdoors, I am trying my best to deny the feeling in the air. It is an irony, I love the warmth and the sun, but can't wait till the bad memories of summers' past fade and fall off the trees. I like the way this passes thru the seasons by using feelings instead of colours ...

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

You ARE woman, I don't know how you do it....thanks, you know it's those 'feelings' that get us in d.. read more



Reviews

I love your seasonal poems...beautiful! Another saved favorite....Thank you, dear friend, for filling up my library. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


You know, sometimes I get the feeling you are clairvoyant, but the only way you can share your gift with other people is to let it drip through your pen and onto the page in beautifully crafted, descriptive riddles. You never cease to amaze me Frieda, this was such a beautiful piece. I am not really sure what Christopher Robin was going on about. Poetry is about expression. If you get yourself too lost in the technical side of things it will begin to sound robotic and unfeeling. But that is his own beef. We all know you are fabulous.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

Oh I wish I were clairvoyant, then I'd really turn gypsy. Thanks so much for your glowing review. Ev.. read more
Hi Frieda,

Your piece's title caught my attention yet I feel slightly misled after reading it. As bemused as I am by your adoring followers, they are looking so far beyond the writing that they appear to be missing the writing itself (yet perhaps that is the goal of the poet).
Your writing contains a number of both syntax and grammatical errors, whilst generally excused under the wonderfully large umbrella guise of 'prose' there are lines here that simply don't make sense.

"my breath
in spring's
aspirations of familiarity's
wildflower blooms,"

I don't want to tear this apart because you technically make sense, but there is no defined subject. Is it the wildflower, the aspirations, or your breath which blooms? You wield an impressive and extensive lexicon drenched with metaphor, yet I believe your beautifully blind bookworms are more baffled than beguiled by it.
For a cleverly named piece, the alliteration and rhyme are jilted, without meter or verse to give them structure or substance. Again I know prose follows few rules, poems little more. My worry is that your followers are regarding this as a great literary achievement rather than a conceptual one. You've captured a feeling beautifully, yet the expression is jilted. Like an optical illusion once you see the trick, you see it is in fact an illusion of something that might have been magical, if but for a moment.
I realize too late now this is not very constructive criticism, the only sort which should really be allowed in review of art. Let me say this then, your talent is undeniable, like your following. Try not to get so caught up in flowery language, chasing the metaphor or allegory to the point where the original subject becomes obsolete or nonsensical. Turn your phrase for those born all days, and your love will surely grow.

-Robin

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

My poetry is nothing but for the 'feelings' it conveys, if that's all you came away with, then I'm d.. read more
This caught me at the end taking a deep breath and releasing loving this poem nicely written

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

Thanks so much for your visit and review SP...
your frosted rhymes are great...as is the poem...but i see metaphor here...surviving a hard winter, is like getting through a hard depression...a difficult time in our lives....and when finally the spring breaks through...we sigh, catch a breath...and rearm ourselves for the next obstacle in life.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

Thanks for such a charming review jacob, muchly appreciated.
I adore this piece, Friedalicious!... you woo me to no end...

Romance is swirled in seasons' bliss... the storm of passion was brewing, and it had to be released...

Fantastic, whimsical write!...Bravo!~xoxo~:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

If I can woo the Queen of sultry romance, that's something! Thanks so much my sweet friend, don't s.. read more
Frieda P. I always find something new and exciting when I read your poetry. I find I read your work more than once and each time something different jumps out at me. I really enjoy your words and your style. I have read no other like you anywhere. This was great. I really loved this poem today.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

Thanks so much Will, appreciate your kind sentiments.
// flitting on lusty sun showers dawn,
appeared as dazzling as a brilliant
bolt of lightning's storm
after the rains of meteor's hail,
fall heard prelude's demise //

Your words just came alive on my page, Mama F. I cannot even begin to put into words how much I loved this one and how much it is now my favourite of yours. Out of this world. The lines I copied above were my favourite, the imagery was just perfect.

This is poetry. xoxo

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

You have made my poetic heart dance sweet noodlebumble, thanks muchly! xo
To everything there is a season, as your vivid lines remind... Beautiful piece, Frieda!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

Grazie mille Rita!
No wonder your poetry is a pure joy to read; as I'm such an art lover......
a magical taste of seasons that desires to be sensed ;)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

9 Years Ago

Oh thanks so much Manal, you've humbled me. :)

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26 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on August 13, 2014
Last Updated on August 13, 2014

Author

Frieda P
Frieda P

NJ



About
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..

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