PLEASE SMILE

PLEASE SMILE

A Poem by highthought
"

PAIN AND ITS EFFECTS

"

Raised on wounds and harm,
until ,joy was lost from her life.
Pain reached here and there
grasping desire, swinging with it to the end.


As she walks around...
together ,with her deadly charm
victims started to fall
responding for what she asks for!
That all their hearts will be destroyed.


Instead of makeup she used their blood

Instead of love she only give a fierce eye

Wondering if i can hold or not
she asked friends of mine
"What level of love can he reach?"
All agreed that my level is high to be achieved
"If it wasn't for the missing of a smile from your scene
i wouldn't write this appeal


My dear..

Only true love will heal your pain

My dear

Only honest care will bring joy again



© 2015 highthought


Author's Note

highthought
I wrote it to the I CHALLENGE YOU contest, in that contest they have post the pic of a weird female so ,please look at the pic before placing your reviews then judge

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Featured Review

I really like this, I get a strong feel of 'her', and how she used the people who loved her. But the sensitive approach at the end really pulls it together- acute observation of a human being. Pain breeds pain. I liked the line "Instead of makeup she used their blood".

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

highthought

8 Years Ago

its hard but i try to do it and that is to give solution for the problem spoken about in the topic o.. read more
highthought

8 Years Ago

thank you lily



Reviews

How horrible it must be to be so corrupt that you must damage others to gain things you want. I known people like this. they break my heart.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is very intriguing and I quite enjoyed reading it. I only detected a couple small points of error -- unnecessary comma, incorrect version of a word, etc -- but on the whole, this was well written. Lovely piece...

Posted 8 Years Ago


I enjoyed this. Very dark, chilling and mysterious. There is a dark seduction here too.Pain of all kinds can do such damage to someone and real unconditional love can sometimes heal. An excellent write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


A good flow of words.. I enjoyed.. Last lines left me blind..


Posted 8 Years Ago


I really like this, I get a strong feel of 'her', and how she used the people who loved her. But the sensitive approach at the end really pulls it together- acute observation of a human being. Pain breeds pain. I liked the line "Instead of makeup she used their blood".

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

highthought

8 Years Ago

its hard but i try to do it and that is to give solution for the problem spoken about in the topic o.. read more
highthought

8 Years Ago

thank you lily
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dan
It's a bit of a rough transition from the beginning of the write (a SHE who seems terribly cruel and heartless) to the end when the SHE asks, "What level of love can he reach." The rhythm and pace of the poem is top-notch and the wording well done but for the matter of the disconnect between beginning and end. If I am missing the point somehow then I apologize. I will definitely be back to review more of your work since your raw talent is very obvious. take care, my friend...dan

Posted 8 Years Ago


I love the flow and rhythm of the poem. Nice job

Posted 8 Years Ago


Wow, you've been on this site a long time, haven't you? I saw this was posted back in 2011.

Anyways, I really enjoyed this. It reads like a story for me. Great work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

highthought

8 Years Ago

i ve stopped writing long ago , i dont know if i ll come back ..still wondering
Very well put, great emotion :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Nice piece, very sentimentally written :)
Keep on writing!
-LK

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1258 Views
44 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 24, 2011
Last Updated on February 8, 2015

Author

highthought
highthought

About
Ok i am a male , English is my second language, so it's hard for me to give a fair review sometimes, so dont expect a lot.. i am a sales manager and, had this attraction to writing more..

Writing

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