You'll Never Have Nothing

Looking at things with optimism, life is what you make of it, you never truly have nothing and you should always have hope.

A tree has roots

The turtle its shell

Earth has valleys

The falcon its wings

Everyone,

the Poor

the Lost

the Alone

Has life

And Opportunity

Author's Note

I would especially appreciate feedback concerning the end of the poem which I believe needs improvement the most.

Reviews

[Swetha]

the end does need a little more work. maybe you should add a few more things to the list of what everyone has...anyway nice poem!

[fwvalidus]

That's the point though, life is what you make of it.. I shouldn't be telling you what opportunities you have and don't have! The message is: Endless possibilities, YOU decide.

[Jack Cassidy]

I like the message, but I think the ending would be worth expanding on... Maybe describe the way opportunities enrich our lives... I think you're off to a good start though. Keep it up.

[fwvalidus]

Thank you thank you. You share the same sentiment as myself and many others on this.

[Subversive Reality]

I like this, good message overall and agree with others that the first half is great.

For the ending, how about:

Everyone, regardless,
The poor,
The lost,
and alone,

Has live to live,
Opportunity found,
Yet still we search for more

[Subversive Reality]

btw I did base the last line on your previous comment on a different review :-)

[Subversive Reality]

oooh! if you're not against rhyming, then have poor at the end of that triplet:

The lost,
The alone,
The Poor

Then poor can rhyme with more :-) Just a thought

[fwvalidus]

Yeah i think we have to go with "the lost, the alone, the poor" for sure. And yeah the additional line is something I am toying with. Could be "we want more" "we search for more" "something is missing" etc. Thanks for the read!

[Kelly Scheppers]

What about closing with this...

We all have life,
the poor
the lonely,
the lost

We all seek opportunity.

The lines you have above that are simply brilliant...thank you for asking for suggestions!

My best,
Kelly

[fwvalidus]

Thanks for your input, I am seriously considering adapting my poem with some of your ideas!

[Susan McCaskill]

I would say:
"Everyone, no matter who," and the end needs something, I'm just not sure what! It rather leaves the reader up in the air. Is there some way you could give more of a conclusion?
Other than that, it's short, concise and true.

[fwvalidus]

Hmm would a one-liner such as "But I need something more" be fit as you see it? Thanks for the review and the recommendation of improvement!

[Susan McCaskill]

Let me think about it :-)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A good way of looking at things...an apt message. In times of sorrow, I always like to think about something my grandmother used to say..."count your blessings, my dear, because as long as you're still breathing, you're better off than those who aren't". We always have something to hold on to in this life, and sometimes that something is only ourselves. I liked this one.

[fwvalidus]

I am glad you received the message exactly the way I attempt to give it. Its a simple poem meant to cut straight to the message though.. I may put more time into this in attempt to 'beautify' it, but I think I may just leave it as is. Thanks for the review!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I liked the whole development of this verse...I believe the ending gives enough to the conclusion of this write...you leave us with a ending clause to think for ourselves in the end of passage...

[fwvalidus]

Thanks for the review, I am glad you enjoyed!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...