Uncivilization (or) The Last Stand

a surreal satire

News of other lovers of unspecified gender

(a generational glitch in the eclectic dreams

of ageless cappuccino debutantes

and aromatic swashbucklers)

and barely hidden terms of infatuous agreements,

under the guise of open-mindedness,

are dealt out over a table in a double-handed tryst,

while nutmeg and cinnamon,

nestled together in frothy delight,

conceal incantations

wafting into a fetid air of diametric oppositions,

and social commentary acquires a neon glow,

reflected in panes of hard-boiled silicon,

marking the outer limit against the primitive fringe:

out there;

out here

where hands beat drums

to frighten Pharaoh,

where tongues chant prayers

to raise the dead,

where feet move dust

upon the earth.

Author's Note

This has been a struggle :)

Reviews

[JayceeC]

You did a good job settings your scene behind an impressionistic veil, hinting at the setting, it's mire a feel than a place. Like a boutique coffee shop (Starbucks is now passé) where the barista is earning 70G a year on tips. The polished in crowd sitting in plush chairs, sharing gossip in the name of "networking" cassually watching the poor man on the corner or the venders on the street with blind eyes. The windows divide the haves from the have nots.

"and social commentary acquires a neon glow," this is one of my favorite lines here. Neon being, beautiful and glowing, yet fragile and insubstantial--a little glitter on the gloss- but nust a false image.
Creative use of language and a nice introduction to your work.

[garrshaw]

Thankyou Jaycee. Although this work is 15 years old you are the first person who has ever given me an in-depth review. I am most grateful. You have helped me to resolve the nagging, unknown question I have had with this unruly child: it has the wrong name.

[JayceeC]

Glad I could be oc some help.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

some profess to care, to be socially minded, open minded, but it is easy for them because they are poor little rich kids....or protected by wealth and really don't mean what they say...it just sounds good...

but i remember a simon and garfunkel lyric..."all of my wealth won't buy me health, so i smoke a pint of tea a day"

it's easy to be swashbuckling when we sup coffee at Starbucks...but when we beg on the street for a few quarters in order to buy that cup to keep us from shivering to death, inside...that is where the real dust moves.

[garrshaw]

Yes. Toynbee wrote about the rise and fall of civilizations. This false speech of the dominant class is always an indication of the disintegration of the prevailing order. The rise of its replacement begins with 'facing the truth'... a barbaric act in the minds of most of the elite.

Thankyou Jacob.

[Viv Wade]

So expressive, perfectly evokes the hell of city centre living!

[garrshaw]

Wonderful, thanks. I had hoped it would.