Addicted

A Story by Jennifer Paige

Journal Entry

It was all fun and innocent in the beginning of this broken relationship. I met you when I was 18 and fell in love right away. I trusted you to make me feel safe. We caught up twice a week and then I got comfortable with the idea of you being around so I would visit you as often as I could. I started to notice the person I was becoming. The dark clouds surrounding me became a natural feeling but in my head I told myself “It’s fine. You have everything under control. You are not who you think you are becoming.” We have seen what you have done to our friends and family. We know what you are capable of. We tell ourselves we will never let you close enough to destroy our lives. But it only takes that one taste of curiosity. So instead of staying away we cling to you. You make us feel comfortable with ourselves in a way that is unexplainable. You make us feel numb to the pain we have suffered. I have taken breaks from you but I always seem to find myself coming back. I want the strength to stay away but I am not ready to say goodbye forever. You don’t help me in the long run you are only hurting me and my life. I allow you to because that moment of feeling nothing is better than the heartache I feel every second without you. I have no regrets but I will soon be done playing your games. Thank you for the moments of comfort but a moment is never enough. You will always be my first love. I am saying goodbye for now. I will see you soon,