Doctors office

Overflow of emotional distress, how do I turn the valve off?

The alarms are being tested but so is my patience.

Discouraging ideas that everything I know is wrong and holding stones meant to amplify luck and creativity, are a backwards tradition stolen from a dead culture America wanted to turn into hippie profits.

Or maybe thinking things will only get worse makes things that much worse.

How will we ever know what truly works and what doesn't?

People will tell you a million different things throughout your lifetime about how things work and how to deal with them.

Feeling unlucky?

Carry this rabbit foot around with you.

Have bad facial blemishes?

Rub a potato on them and bury it out back.

Got bad sinuses and can't sleep?

Put a cut onion inside your sock at night.

People will believe anything that makes them feel safe.

That's what people do, they ache for comfort and others dish it out like parking violations down a busy city street.

We are only comforted in universal moments of sadness like funerals and hospital visits.

Someone sometimes forgets to comfort in simple moments like discouragement or getting harassed by someone you can't stand up too.

Leaving room for psychological disturbances, confusion on why no one was there to comfort you in your time of pain.

Eating realistic tunnels through your brain, where one day nothing will be of surprise.

You expect no empathy, assume there is so sympathy left in humanity.

I think I needed to do it.

It was a psychological must I needed to explore.

To experience an influx of emotions at an unstable manner, to learn control and patience.

To become devoid of human emotion and interaction based only on selfish progression.

Everyone learns differently I suppose.

My skin gets cold and tight when I think of all the knowledge in the world at my fingertips, I think that's fear.

Wisdom driven fear of never being good enough to call myself a functional human being.

If I don't know how to fix a window, door, car or lawnmower than what skills do I really have?

If I can't read at an advanced level and type 100 words a minute without looking at the keyboard then what was school for?

If I can't keep my finances in order and keep a reasonable budget with a below average job than how am I expected to ever catch up or get ahead?

The biologically universal stress concerns every struggling individual experiences.

We are a planet among-st several hundred billion stars forming our galaxy, in a cluster of a hundred billion galaxies, yet we are all so worried about money, power and being better than our neighbor.

Commercial ads for cheap products nobody really needs because progression doesn't come from a 19.95 dollar purchase with a free product thrown in.

Expansion of the mind does not come from going to Wendy's for that new Asiago burger you just saw on TV.

Devoid of human expectation, we could learn a thing or two from depriving ourselves of temptation, but if you wanted to see the world you could just look up pictures or read a magazine.

That's what I'm doing right now, in the doctors office awaiting X-Ray results of the second chest contusion I've experienced.

Indonesia looks so colorful, maybe it's the Percocet.

Maybe it's the fluorescence, the illuminated sleek pages of this three year old magazine glazed with sick fingerprints.

I am most definitely high, I am bobbing back in forth with hazy eyes.

I hope the doctor comes back soon and sends me home so I can think of the pretty places I'll never go.

- addisone

Legal high.