Look Up

A Story by gorillarock

You might just see the most glorious sky of your life.

Revised Version: March 3rd, 2015

What I had not expected to see today was the most wondrous sunrise I've ever witnessed in my years on this earth. The canvas of clouds in the upper atmosphere brimmed above the eastern horizon, setting a tall ceiling over the town. They radiated with spectacular colours caused by the sun, which had yet to ascend into view. The golden reflection of its rays became the centerpiece of the unveiling masterstroke. A cascade of gold, orange, red, violet and rich deep blue transitioned the sky, and into the dark midnight behind. Below the brim of glorious cloud, a frigidly clear azure sky illuminates the morning. It was the vivid wall of vibrancy on which the magnificent ceiling sat. Low clouds rippled over the silhouette of Dartmouth, painting a mountainous backdrop. They traversed to the south, breaching the skyline, rising from the earth as if to sever it in half. Deep and darkly violet, untouched by the sun, they were a perfect contrast to the brilliance above to emphasize the beauty of it all. I thank the glacial weather for eliminating any particle in the air that could have obscured the view!

I had a moment of emotion when I realized the truth of it all, that the most amazing sunrise of my life was a passing moment. A moment I could never truly share with my closest friends and family. A picture is worth a thousand words, but ten thousand words could not describe what I truly saw. For anyone who may have caught that mornings sunrise… it was amazing, wasn't it?

Original Version: January 25th, 2013

What I was not expecting today was to see the most wondrous sunrise I've ever witnessed in my years on this earth. The clouds in the upper atmosphere were brimming just above the horizon, radiating with spectacular colours caused by the sun which had yet to ascend into my view. In the center was a bright golden reflection of its rays. They cascaded through red, violet, and a rich deep blue across the clouds, then transitioned into the dark midnight behind me. Below the cloud brim was the frigidly clear azure sky. It was the vivid foundation of vibrancy on which the magnificent upper clouds sat. I thank this weather for eliminating any particle in the air that could have obscured the view! Rippling over the Dartmouth horizon was a low cloud. It looked as if a gargantuan mountain range was breaching and traversing our land, as if to sever us from the earth. It was a deep dark violet, untouched by the sun, perfectly contrasting the glorious show the sun had on display, emphasizing the beauty of it all. I had a moment of emotion when I realized the truth of it, that the most amazing sunrise was a passing moment that I felt I could not bring my closest relations into. A picture is worth a thousand words but TEN thousand words could not describe what I saw… for anyone who may have caught that mornings sunrise… it was amazing, wasn't it?

© 2015 gorillarock

Author's Note

This was an attempt to literally paint a picture of the most stunning sunrise I have ever witnessed in my life. Can you see it? This was posted as a work in progress, with all of the original errors intact. So please, help me fashion a masterpiece to give justice to this memory! Constructive criticism and education is appreciated :D

My Review

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Reviews

Mai L Nissen

I enjoyed reading it :) That does sound like an amazing sunrise! Your descriptions are beautiful and vivid and I could see it unfolding before me.

Though, I think you could tighten it up a bit, to make it flow more effortlessly.
My problem is with the word 'was' in these two sentences:
"In the center was a bright golden reflection of its rays."/"Below the cloud brim was the frigidly clear azure sky."/"Rippling over the Dartmouth horizon was a low cloud"

Perhaps: "in the center a bright golden reflection of its rays appeared/danced/travelled" and "Below the cloud brim rested the frigidly clear azure sky"

My examples are not the best - but I think the reader would be more able to connect with your experience if you could get around using 'was'...

Otherwise, I really liked it!