International Dating 101

How to work the minefield that is the global dating game.

Dating is a complicated dance as it is. One wrong move and you and your date are out of sync, which can ruin the whole date.  Then you have to take things to an entirely new level when it comes to dating across country lines. At the moment I am studying in the US which is like an entirely different planet!

One thing to remember is that countries have widely varied dating etiquette. In Scotland things are a lot more relaxed that America. You can go on a date and see how things go; in the US it’s more like an unwritten invitation to start a relationship.  

1. It’s important to know what both parties expect from the date. Now I’m not talking marriage and kids, I’m more saying is it casual or are there more feelings involved. Starting on the same page can make all the difference.

For example I was asked out for a drink by a guy in my class. I went, I got drunk, I had sex. No big deal right? Wrong, to him it was like signing away my life. Ok so that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but he did tell all his friends about me and proceed to ask me on 3 dates in one week. He expected a relationship and I expected a date.

2. Probably most important to remember is that people communicate differently. As much as this is true between people from the same place, across boarders it’s like an emotional minefield. If you are passive like me you aren’t going to want to tell someone who has just bought you roses that they are bad in bed and you have no interest in being more than their friend. The flipside of this is being prepared to be offended. Americans in particular are A LOT more direct. You could think things are going slow and steady and then they will hit you with a ‘So… I don’t think things are working.’  This isn’t Europe; these people are looking for love and marriage, not casual sex and a good feeding.

3. Also you should take everything with a pinch of salt. There are exceptions to every rule…and thank f**k for that. All people on first dates are all guilty of painting the best picture of themself they can. It’s natural, a shop doesn’t show its ugliest merchandise, it entices people in with the best it has to offer. At the end of the day though, real love means that people know your flaws and love you anyway. I think it’s naive to think that from one date you know everything that a person is bringing to the table.

As much as international dating can be daunting, it is the same as every other date you’ve been on, if you bring yourself then it will sink or swim but at least it will be real.