Three

Three

A Chapter by Hailey Juliet
"

. . .

"
. . .

something like that time
you took me up to that lookout
over the indian reserve,
how original, i thought,
like the first time

you said something along
the lines of, i love
you, in your broken english
not foreign, but stuttering 
like the first time

you may or may not have
tripped over your own 
feet, falling headfirst
across me, half-freezing
atop those somewhere between

scarlett and crimson sheets:
and stayed there, not like i
cared or noticed anything
but that crazy, sheepish,
grin.  something like a lamb

as you reached under me
with your left hand
scooping or something
struggling to get a grip
on what it all means

i really couldn't say
as i was too wrapped up
in your wild hair and those 
sheets beneath us to make 
tails of tails, or something

. . .




© 2018 Hailey Juliet



My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Reviews

Thank you for this uninhibited unstructured love scene! Sometimes I get so tired of all the predictable ways that people can come together. There isn't ANYTHING here that I would've expected, which makes it fun to read & compelling from top to bottom. I love the way you use the phrases "something like" and "somewhere" to convey uncertainty, even tho the mood of this message is the opposite of tentative! Contrasts like that make a piece feel playful, which is the crux of "show instead of tell"! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 7 Months Ago



Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

163 Views
1 Review
Rating
Added on February 9, 2018
Last Updated on February 9, 2018


Author

Hailey Juliet
Hailey Juliet

Canada



About
Footloose yet flightless, paralyzed but plightless. more..

Writing
Two Two

A Chapter by Hailey Juliet


Five Five

A Chapter by Hailey Juliet