Rejection

Rejection

A Poem by hardeep sabharwal
"

Pains of love

"
That day I can not forget,
when I proffered you a handful of love,
You took it as fake, as if
I am only a lascivious,
you repudiated me, unrelished
I took your boon on my forehead
And kept my desires
In the deep freezer, in the caves of silence,
when I entered the room with sun stained
Face, you said, it is very hot
I felt ardent, I strived to explicit
You just put ice cubes in an empty tumbler
And with a crafty smile, you altered the theme,
The topic then began from this to that
With laud and disgrace,
This time I said, it is very hot
And I felt it is not warm
I strived to hold you with my wet hands
You slipped away and denunciated
What other people will say?
lets make our love genuine
What other people will say!!
I yielded, I become senile
I came back, felt rejected I sobbed
For three days, but then I acknowledged
that it is not the skin what I want
But spirit
And I have the courage to wait
A wait long till death

© 2014 hardeep sabharwal


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Featured Review

Interesting read, with clear depth of emotion, rejection, frustration, and a confusing jumble of more that is nearly there, but not quite. I read this and find I want to know more. I want to understand better and have a clearer empathy for the rejected. Some nit-picks, sorry:
"reprudiated" should be "repudiated"
"the topic than" should probably be "the topic then"
"than I acknowledged" should be "then I acknowledged"
Fourth line, counting from the bottom, did you mean "what I want" or should this be "that I want" or probably just "I want" would flow better?

My favorite is this: "it is not the skin I want but spirit"... How true this rings for me, in my own soul, my own past and regrets. The nature of human desire and need. And a wellspring of sadness when unmet. This has incredible potential, I hope you will continue to perfect it!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

Brilliant review

Thanks for telling grammatical mistakes :)



Reviews

Thanks for entering.

I love your last lines!

But spirit
And I have the courage to wait
A wait long till death


Posted 6 Years Ago


Very emotional and genuine. Truly touched me. Very good piece of writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

Thankyou so much
A very nice concept depicted here.
Ofcourse being an Indian I feel good to read " And I have the courage to wait
A wait long till death."

Here rejection not turned to avenge that I liked.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

Thanks a lot prabha :)
Prabha Salimath

9 Years Ago

you're welcome.
Very deep and emotional. It's also very easy to relate for myself, and probably many others, so kudos for writing on a subject that will connect with the reader in such an elegant way.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

Thanks a lot jesse booker
I enjoyed the journey to learning in the poem.
"that it is not the skin what I want
But spirit
And I have the courage to wait
A wait long till death"
Above lines are true. Knowing the internal thoughts and wants of another is a rare gift. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

Thanks a lot coyote
Interesting read, with clear depth of emotion, rejection, frustration, and a confusing jumble of more that is nearly there, but not quite. I read this and find I want to know more. I want to understand better and have a clearer empathy for the rejected. Some nit-picks, sorry:
"reprudiated" should be "repudiated"
"the topic than" should probably be "the topic then"
"than I acknowledged" should be "then I acknowledged"
Fourth line, counting from the bottom, did you mean "what I want" or should this be "that I want" or probably just "I want" would flow better?

My favorite is this: "it is not the skin I want but spirit"... How true this rings for me, in my own soul, my own past and regrets. The nature of human desire and need. And a wellspring of sadness when unmet. This has incredible potential, I hope you will continue to perfect it!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

Brilliant review

Thanks for telling grammatical mistakes :)
Your perserverence will surely be rewarded.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

Thanks a lot marie
You can feel the longing, the determination, the courage, the love in this piece... Rejection really does suck and for those who don't give up and fight for what they want have my respect... sometimes, there are things in this world worth fighting for.. sometimes we learn, that what we really thought we wanted, wasn't what we needed... very moving write:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

Thanks AprilRN for such a deep and thoughtful look at this piece, thanks for your touching words
AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

you're welcome, it was my pleasure.
Rejection blows more than any feeling on earth

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

True Baby Ricochet, thanks dear for your read
you have put pen to paper and now your poem is here keep writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


hardeep sabharwal

9 Years Ago

Thanks deepwater a lot :)

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Added on September 9, 2014
Last Updated on September 13, 2014

Author

hardeep sabharwal
hardeep sabharwal

patiala , punjab , India



About
Hardeep Sabharwal describes himself as person of few words. He is one of millions of middle class Indians who do not have any ideology; they only want to live a peaceful life. The thing that hurts him.. more..

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