Unforgiven

 

Some of the days I sit and think

My heart just falls, and then I sink

All by myself and all alone

With my grail and sit on my throne

When I awake I only see

A soda and a lawn chair in front of me

All of my life is but a guild

And then I rebuild

For it is a fake, fake and untrue

I shall hold my breath till I am blue

To live is a shame when you cannot choose

All the skills are there and cannot be used

If I shall live another day

My soul shall up and run away

For the life you gave me was no gift

All my affairs I now must sift

From the day I was born my life you have driven

From now on in you will always be dubbed...

Unforgiven

Reviews

[Ryan Patrick Walsh]

I like this. simple and to the point, and I can really sense the truth in the words you use. That feeling of anomie is mixed down to the average lifestyle, wishing you were born in a different era or in a different place. Oh how circumstance can lead us in our lives. Good stuff.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Even a night of mourning leads a brighter morning. :o) I'm more like Today's Tom Sawyer by RUSH but I get where this is coming from.

[poetic soul]

Metallica touch!! ;) nice one......

:) Smiles,
Poetic Soul

[.]

I liked this. The flow of, almost a sense of desperation evolving into sadness came through on this to me.
I think that everyone has a role to play in life...but I don't believe that anyone person should be left along holding the grail at the top.


Great Writing!

Tara M Stone

[Fantasyfairy]

Nice work here. I think of it as a cry to God, unforgiven for giving you a life you never asked for and that has been nothing but grief, but maybe that is just my point of view. Nice flow and well put together. XX

[Frances O'Neill]

I like this one a lot! It is nicely formed. I know how it feels when someone else isn't pulling their

weight, but intentionally though.

[indianhost]

i like your poem it gives something to think abut well done