poem: Note 1 Penned for a Friend on New Year's Eve, 2012: Blue Star

I think, maybe,

this past year-

this fine, disastrous, uplifting,

confusing

sorrowful, hopeful, joyous

year-

once, for 30 seconds

I held you the way

I have wanted to

for so long.

And I think you knew it.

 

But there were others waiting

and much to do

and we never spoke-

just went forward

as years have a tendency

to progress,

in spirals always,

never straight lines

just as in art even

things simple and straight-forward;

never, ever are.

As you know well.

 

I desired to know

if your hands caress flesh

as well as they do paper and linen;

if the passion

in your eyes

is grounded in

your heart

if you ever have gone outside

on a cold dark night

and made a

silly small wish upon

a star, any star.

 

I guess maybe we all

fear spirals, that bring us back

to confront

what we once sought to

leave behind,

and maybe we are

too old to believe

in the power of starlight;

and maybe fairy tales

are for those who

cannot count miles,

cannot read statistics

do not read the law

of averages.

  

So we let go

of all we secretly wish

to hold onto

even just a second

longer.

 

Despite all-

I still want to know

if we’ve ever accidentally

or even fatefully,

made a wish

on the same blue star.

You know, that bright one,

high in the cold air-

 

We always tried to paint it,

to immortalize its crystalline

fluid, translucent structure,

so beautiful it never

had a chance

to survive in daylight;

and it just never quite

turned out…

right.

 

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

This was simply lovely, the desire to connect truly with those dear, for complicated things to be simple, just for time to stop and allow those moments. And I have that thought too sometimes, if someone I am thinking of would just look at the same star as me, or even the moon at the same time, could we be connected for that moment.

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you, Horizon, yes you nailed it. We do overcomplicate things sometimes... but I would caution that oversimplification is more dangerous. We should learn perhaps to see both sides... if that is even possible. And yes, I do wonder, can we connect at some level when we contemplate the same things, from different life angles?

[Horizon K.]

Hmm... I think the answer perhaps is compassion. With that you can see both sides of things and reconcile them within yourself and others... and connect even with someone who sees things differently from you when able to see things through their eyes and experiences..

[Emily B]

tender and longing words

[Marie Anzalone]

thank you Emily yes they were meant to be

[Georgia Gypsy]

I despise the streetlights that block out the stars, they help me remember who I am, was, may ever want to be. In looking up, I remember to look forward.
Very poignant piece, it felt like twirling under them....those ever-spinning stars.

[Marie Anzalone]

it is no accident that almost every early religion looked to stars (or to fertility of women). They have been our guideposts for thousands of years. So lucky are we to live in a time where technology makes it possible to appreciate their secrets and add even more wonder. We artists rightly questioned the validity of simply cataloguing them, but we should open our hearts to the wonders of understanding them. The intricacies of their dance put all of our mythology to shame in it s limitedness.

[Ken Simm.]

I still sometimes wait under Orion. I know the feelings that live there and who I wish to feel them too. Delightful, romantic to the nth degree and quite, I search for a word, blissful.

[Marie Anzalone]

Thanks, Ken... I wonder though, because I came back to the last line... how we keep trying to capture and define this thing, but never really can... and I thought that was the point of where my thoughts took me? That we try for the heavens but really are left holdign the imperfection of the earth, so we give up, maybe too easily? Dunno... just know that I felt more wistful than bliss writing this one. I am glad you got something more joyous than I did.

[h d e rushin]

" I desired to know
if your hands caress flesh
as well as they do paper and linen"

THOSE THREE LINES ARE JUST FANTASTIC..AND I SWEAR TO YOU I WILL STEAL
THESE LINES AND USE THEM FOR MYSELF.....LOL, DANA

[Marie Anzalone]

Imitation being the greatest form of flattery, Dana, be my guest! ;-)
Thanks for stopping by.

[Tree]

Like Corset right below me I know this feeling well, too. There are places within this poem that you can insert me, effortlessly. Can't let go of the power of starlight, I'm wondering... And how the hell can I wring out all those miles and statistics and scientific formulations, out of my head? Sometimes knowing too much gets in the way, sadly. Just a well crafted, and thought provoking piece

[Marie Anzalone]

Ah dear friend. I forget who said the mark of a genius is the reconciliation of opposites; the ability to hold two truths, seemingly oppsed, at the same time, and not lose your s**t over it. In more spiritual terms, what Richard Rohr, in his amazing, life-changing book, "Falling Upwards," would classify as "both/and" thinking instead of "either/or." He talks about the transition from first half of life survival thinking, where you need the structure and rules to build the house for your soul; vs the second half of life, where you actually live in it... or move to a new one if that one did not serve. Therefore I offer you this compromise: statistics tell us what is likely to happen, given all the facts and the differences and dostances. Looking at the stars, makes us remember that sometimes circumstances beat the odds. The human heart determines when the chance that the stats are wrong, is worth the risk of what could be lost on the venture. I have found that the hand is forced when and only when the thought of things staying exactly the same is more terrifying than the risks of the unknown. Always better to have a "going to" than a "running from," but sometimes the running is necessary too, as is wandering for a whle not knowing what you want. All part of the dance under the stars, and the stuff statistics are made of. Stardust. There is no reason to dropp the forumaltions, my dear Diego... embrace both halves and see what magic is wrought.

-Raquelita

[Tree]

''Falling Upwards'', sounds like a great read. I'll have to check that out. As far as the reconciliation between knowledge acquired and the reclaiming of innocence, I think you are dead on. We must find peace with the two, keep one foot inside each sphere (for they are both sorely needed) and draw on them, whenever and wherever we need to, for balance. But I do miss the pure magic, what can I say? Be well

Diego

[Marie Anzalone]

But you can always choose the magic, any time you want... that is why we are permitted grace. All we have to do is ask for it- and I am not necessarily talking about the religious kind, although they are included too. Don't believe me? Come walk through a forest, or across a mountaintop some time with me. You'll see what I am talking about. Magic is simply the willingness to view the world anew each and every day... despite everything we have already learned.

[Raquelita]

"When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free."
— Wendell Berry

[Tree]

This found a place inside of me. Wendell Berry's work I've read, but never came across this. For me it strengthens the point even further... Makes in more, than just something to consider. Thank you

Diego

[Marie Anzalone]

You are welcome... I stumbled across that quote this morning, and thought of this conversation, and that you would appreciate it.

[Tree]

It was perfect...

[Marie Anzalone]

I tkae things like that, write them down, and post them above my desk to remind myself of what I need most to remember...

[Tree]

I do the same. Almost every book I've read in the past 6 years is littered with 'Post Its' between each page that has something within I feel to be important. And if that's not enough, I write the quote or phrase on the post it, too. I'm sick.

[Marie Anzalone]

No you're not sick... you're one of the sane ones. Trust me on this.

[Corset]

I know this feeling, I see the same star every night :) This is beautiful Marie, all the things I wish I could say but can't. perfect.

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you Corset. I have been blessed with many inspirational people this year; I wanted to capture the essence of a few of them in few lines, because they have meant so much. This one keeps me at a wonderful living breathing arm's length. I think all of us poets struggle to describe our relationships that do not fit traditional roles. That could be why we seek starlight in the first place.