An Unspoken Goodbye

written for a contest

If objects had the power

to record memories

and sensations

of what has passed them by;

then

inside this doorknob

would reside

a glance of eyes cut with shame,

a hand, gripped tightly,

fingers curled;

and a sense of dread, knowing

what is gone, is lost.

It would give you insight, too: 

disheveled bedclothing,

unmade for weeks, while its owner

tossed and cried

and smell the scent of madness,

knowing

there was no way out;

and that the lingering hatred

could never be reconciled

by a maligned

never recognized

and unspoken

 goodbye.

Reviews

[Dane Osborne]

I know this was just written for a contest but it turned out extremely well for the circumstances. This was also impressive and show a unique and humane perception of the world. Well done. BTW i noticed a typo, in the second to last line, "unspoken" is spelled "unpsoken". That happens to us all though LOL just thought i'd let you know. Once again well done:)

[Eclipsing Moon]

contest or no the poem spaeks of the 49 laid off.

[Tovli]

nicely done. It has a prose-like quality; some of the words are a bit forced; but it flows very nicely. sorry to be so long in stopping by with a comment. tovli

[Alicante lullaby]

i have never written for a contest because i cant...under word restriction but the way you have used the words is masterly,that'sall i can say...
your words put out a powerful story...Bravo...
the objects did speak on your page...

[Craig Froman]

From your first voiced expression of objects and remembrances, this work forced itself into my psyche. Powerful thoughts with a bittersweet movement.

[Christy Sargent]

Very nice, Marie...I am in that bedroom. The doorknob is a part of me. It stays there in the room, quietly, watching and absorbing everything therein, day after day. What stories it must have. Thank you for this pleasing piece. I hope you win your contest.

[Helena]

Absolutely fantastic Marie! I am so in awe of the beautiful poems submitted for Tovli's contest and yours is no exception. Thoroughly enjoyed the read and thank you for sharing this beauty.

[angelina neves]

words become emotions!

[Perception Shapes Poetr..]

wonderful way to incorporate random words
beautiful job