[untitled]

about me and Matt, again. im pretty fond of this one.

It's strange how this world works, how you can love someone so true.
And they can take your heart and crush it, and deny ever loving you.
That's how it was for one girl, she loved a boy so strong.
He took her love and threw it away, did her so very wrong.
She was a fun, sweet girl, in relationships she was fair.
Kind and funny, she treated him right, showed how much she cared.
But that's the thing, he did the same, a trick so deceiving.
He gave no signs, acted fine, gave no clue he would be retreating.
He was convincing in his trick, made plans with her for the next day.
Then late that night, one text message, and he took her dreams away.
She cried and cried for her broken heart, all to no avail.
He was gone, he'd left her forever, she'd never dreamed he'd fail.
But he did, he failed the girl, all his promises suddenly lies.
She lays in bed each lonely night with her broken heart and cries.
She cries for him, for the love they had, for her heart that she gave away.
For her stupidity for trusting him, she cries to this very day.
And its not fair, to the boy so new, who now holds her heart and hand.
For her heart is damaged, she no longer trusts, it's not her fault she can't.
She once was strong, held her head high, no one could bring her down.
But she's broken now, broken bad, her heart always full of doubt.

Reviews

[GTVile]

Firstly, this is excellent. Heart-wrenching and dripping with broken promises, it sends shivers down the spine of anyone who's ever loved. Secondly, you were SO close to evening out the number of syllables and the rhythm that you could easily nail it down and make this rock solid. For its length and depth its already hard to get it close, but you're so close in this one that I think the end product would be award winning. You don't have any forced rhymes and every line adds something to the work, both of which are also important for good pieces. Very good job.

[Steph's_romantic_myster..]

I love this, This is Excellent