Five Rings of Fate

Five Rings of Fate

A Book by Hollywood
"

Fantasy/Steam Punk style about a quest for rings to control the world. [Kinda cliche, I know, but I think it is written quite well] Please read, review & rate.

"

© 2010 Hollywood



Author's Note

Hollywood
Please give constructive criticism in your reviews. :] Please & thank you.

My Review

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Featured Review

I like the ideas behind everything, to me it seems you've done some nice planning. But there's something about the narration that doesn't flow in my opinion.

I don't think you give the reader much of a chance to connect with the characters. I like the story but I can't find myself connecting with anyone. I think it's because it's written in present-tense.

I think you need to focus on your protagonist more, let us get to know her before everyone else.

But I love the ideas. And your style is unique.
A good writer needs unique style. It makes them a writer.

Good job so far!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like the ideas behind everything, to me it seems you've done some nice planning. But there's something about the narration that doesn't flow in my opinion.

I don't think you give the reader much of a chance to connect with the characters. I like the story but I can't find myself connecting with anyone. I think it's because it's written in present-tense.

I think you need to focus on your protagonist more, let us get to know her before everyone else.

But I love the ideas. And your style is unique.
A good writer needs unique style. It makes them a writer.

Good job so far!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 24, 2010
Last Updated on January 25, 2010
Tags: Fantasy, Rings, Fate.

Author

Hollywood
Hollywood

Stockton, CA



About
I'm Holly, I am eighteen. I like feed-back on my writing to improve myself. I'm loud, sarcastic, always smiling. Sometimes vulgar, rude & judging. :] note: for read requests i generally read onl.. more..

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