Poem 22. I DANCED WITH YOU

The end of waiting for the night here comes

For I now hold you again in my arms

While the mellow music of our hearts plays

In its full gracefulness, your body sways.

 

You blend with the darkness of this  very night

As we swing in the air with our minds so bright

Never ask for more than this sacred tie

And together we dance, just you and I.

 

But as the night is fading at my sight

You likely vanish leaving me with  blight

The day reveals who you are as my mate

Fathoms the truth, I danced with my silhouette.

Author's Note

Reviews

[JulieÉmile]

Very very beautiful. The picture you have chosen is most fitting for this piece. That's the first thing I noticed. In three stanzas you've conveyed such pure emotions that it makes the heart bleed. This poem really conveys the feeling of being in love. Most of the times, we are dancing with our very own silhouette. Loved this.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks, JulieEmile. I truly appreciate your compliments. :)

[Pax]

seems like forbidden love is your theme here ~ like a short poem from you novel...
I always find forbidden love temporary, it never last if you don't do something about it ~

indulgence ~ its part of human nature that is hard to contained ~ a mistake can be repeated over and over because ika nga Masarap ang bawal eh ~ then we consume and consume until its too late to fix or undone...

but then again this is not about that ~ this talks about fantasy, about some you have a crush, fantasizing you and him dancing the love that can never be...

great piece kabayan ~
nicely done!
100

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Ay, hehehe. may ganon? Kakaiba naman ang interpretation nitong Manong ko. Hehe.

Life is a dance. When you find your partner, you would expect that it will be for better or for worst. But then you will realize that you are the only dancing in the music of life, and nobody is helping you.

This is only a sentiment. Like what I've told you, I usually make poems out of my emotion for the moment. But after that, I always think that all things will be fixed...especially in the family.

Crush-crush...hindi na uso yan sa mga lola. Friend-friend lang kasi friendly talaga ang lola mo. Bata, matanda, may ngipin o wala, pwedeng friend yan.

Sobrang lawak ng naabot ng interpretation mo, Manong. I am just dancing with my shadow, yun ka na agad?

Kapag napapalusot lang sa monitor ang kamay ko, kinurot na kita. Bubuhusan kita ng malamig na tubig paa mawala yang fantasy na iniisip mo. Hehe!

If you are my student, minus 10 ka sa akin. Hehe. :)

[Pax]

hahahaha ~ alam mo namang, i always find something in different direction LOL
hehe ~ anyways, from the first sentense in the first stanza, makikita mo na doon... then here comes your second sentense in your secon stanza... you'll see it there also... forbidden love is written in metaphorly speaking... or just my interpretation on this piece... kahit lola na pwede pa ring mag ka crush, of course tao lang siya, susceptible to any crushes ;-)

buti nlng malayo ako sa kurot mo at sa tubig...hahaha

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Only your interpretation, or maybe product of your spying to other comments below. Hehehe. I know tsismoso ka rin kahit papaano noh?

Tawa ako ng tawa dito. Kahit lola, pwedeng magka-crush? Magagalit si Doc. Rico nyan. Hehe.

[Pax]

haha ~ yeah i did glance but it just confirmed my suspicious thoughts ...LOL
di naman magagalit si Doc pag alam niya crush lang ~ wala naman patutunguhan yung crush kund di fantasy lang... hanggang doon lang LOL

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Kaya nga hindi maganda magka-crush ang lola kasi nga lola na. Waley yan. Boooo!

[Pax]

haha ~ your only old if you think your old enough ~ your young as you feel you are ~

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I think I am old, with childish behavior sometimes. Hahaha.

[Pax]

its good being childish for a time ~ it makes you feel young at times :)

[gabrielle]

this is well-written piece dhaye. when i read this i think that if a person could dance alone during those lonely nights, this would speak so much of her independent nature. When i read it again several interpretations came out (1) that the voice probably is an in-love night worker (2) or the voice is into a forbidden love affair (3) or the voice is in-love with a vampire (lol). Kabayan, when i read poems i really have some of the most out of this world's interpretations. i hope you'd indulge me on this.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

It's no.3. Lol. You made me laugh, Gab. I am in love w/ someone who bites me.
Thanks for the nice review.:)

[Androglossia]

Sometimes we find it hard to determine the fine line between illusion and delusion. Human error? Or human nature? Who knows? What is clear to me is that your poem implies falsehood in the matters of heart, but is it by choice or by chance? And again, who knows?

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks, Maryanne. Life is what we make it. We make our own choices. But often our minds are being controlled by our emotions.
Maybe this is my oddness, I don't know. Is this another weird thing to you? Lol. :) Just trying to make my themes different nowadays. But still, it seems my emotion is making it's way out.

Thanks for the R&R. I always appreciate the honesty in your words. :)

[Ency Bearis]

Nice one, like a Cinderella story, but it's just an illusion dancing with your shadow. Great use of rhyme scheme.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks, Sir Ency. :)

[Ency Bearis]

you're welcome

[Sami Khalil]

"And together we dance, just you and I.



But as the night is fading at my sight

You likely vanish leaving me with blight

The day reveals who you are as my mate"
The rhythm of love is set to the tunes of the heart...A well penned piece...:)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Rhythm of an illusion, Sami.

"The day reveals who you are as my mate
Fathoms the truth, I danced with my silhouette."

I ended with dancing my own shadow.
Thanks for the visit. :)

[Sami Khalil]

Good one...I love it...:)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Very good .. lovely concept and ending .

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thnaks, Sir Abhijit. Glad you dropped by. :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

*Thanks. Sorry...typo :)

[Belle]

I was caught by the ending.
It happened most of the time, we make believe and dance with the rhythm of our mate only to find ourselves in the end being left.

I enjoyed the poem, Dhaye.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks, blackjaye. Glad you dropped by. :)