WALK WITH ME

My composed Christian song

When you’re alone and feel inside

That no one cares for you

When in the dark you walk with fears

And nothing to hold on to

 

Refrain:

Just touch your heart

And feel your faith that says…

 

Chorus:

Hold my hand and walk with me

I’ll go with you, my Lord

Hold me tight and lead me in my way

Hold my hand and walk with me

I’ll go beside you, Lord

Hold me now, tomorrow, and

Forever you walk with me.

 

When in your life you cannot see

The color of the world

When things seem wrong then you believe

Nothing was right about you.

 

(Refrain)

 

(Chorus)

Author's Note

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Dhaye

I wanted to come over and review one of your pieces. I fell upon this and had an immediate emotional reaction, a spark of recognition.

I want to give you a numbered list of random but nonetheless meaningful comments on this piece.

Review.

1) I love the way you turn this into a song with a repeating chorus and a refrain. Because I loved it so much, it was if I wanted more verses. Maybe you could add some ore in time.

2) Loneliness, pain, heart-ache, when no-one seems to care has been something I have had to live at many points in my life and there is an extent to which I am now living it again.

Since I became ill 8 years ago, had to retire early and then was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I have watched my world crash down around my ankles.

In having manic episodes, people, even those I considered close friends and three partners entered and left my life and alone in solitude where I live in the confines of four walls which alone talk to me.

I have again virtually no contact with the world and am falling back into old habits which you can see in my two poems on here, 'A Walk in the Park' They Say' and 'Self-Neglect' which hail back to previous occasions.

I loved your opening lines a they speak to my heart:

When you’re alone and feel inside
That no one cares for you
When in the dark you walk with fears
And nothing to hold on to

These immediately brought to mind the song 'Everybody Hurts' by R.E.M. . For your interest, I place below a link to a Youtube video of their song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI0Zye_ewPE

And the lyrics to their song:

"Everybody Hurts"


'When your day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang on

Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (Hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life, well hang on

Everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no

Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
Everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts'

You will see the similarities between your poem / and this.

Powerful writing on your part. You will also see why I would have liked more verses on top of the two you already haver written.

2) You will see in there also a refrain which repeats but changes slightly each time it is sung.

Your refrain and chorus have a haunting melody, which moved me:

Refrain:

Just touch your heart
And feel your faith that says…

Chorus:

Hold my hand and walk with me
I’ll go with you, my Lord
Hold me tight and lead me in my way
Hold my hand and walk with me
I’ll go beside you, Lord
Hold me now, tomorrow, and
Forever you walk with me.

I could easily see this turned into a song with these the lyrics.

3) In the end you come to the same conclusion in your life as I in mine. The only constant is God. He is all ours friends and in times be they of trouble or of joy on Him only can we all depend.

4) Overview: A very heart-felt piece of poetry with beautiful lyrics as to a song.

Well written

Your friend


James Hanna-Magill

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Sir James,
Thank you for a numbered list of random but nonetheless meaningful comments on this piece of mine. I am so much flattered. I think, I have to give myself more time for the additional stanzas to improve this piece. Another is, I really wanted to make a music video so that you can also hear the tone. I will let you know if ever I have fix the issues in this song (additional stanzas and the music video).

Thank you so much, Sir James. I'm grateful that though I did not send you a read request like what you reminded me, you visited my page. Thanks a lot again. It's an honor to be visited by the Top Reviewer on this site.

[James Hanna-Magill]

My complete pleasure, James

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful song my writer friend. I enjoyed the flow of thoughts and the joyous hope in your words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks you so much.

[Jack...]

Very beautiful Dhaye. A lovely spiritual song.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks, Jack. God is my only refuge...

[Jack...]

Keep him close Dhaye, he will never let you down.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I know... :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I mean, I will (keep Him close), and I know He won't let me down. :)