I PLEAD (Lai)

My first attempt to LAI form of poetry. Inspired by Ms. Jewel's ROMANCE.

 

Photo from: Google Images

I can’t wait to see 

That sweet smile for me

 One day

Someone would call me

Who I want to be

 I’ll pray

That fine word “Mommy”

 Would be real to see

Someday.

 

 

I am just right here

Asking chance to rear

A kid

Someone just so dear

Whom I cuddle here

I bid

With love I do swear

                                  May the Lord now hear      

I plead…

Author's Note

The Lai is a french form of poetry. Each verse consists of nine lines with a syllable count of 5/5/2/5/5/2/5/5/2 and a rhyme pattern of aa/b/aa/b/aa/b.

Credits to: Ms. Jewel's piece at
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Julie-Ward/1308607/

Reviews

[Giggling Star]

You send you're prayer out into the universe. Surely with all of us reading this plea and sending our prayers out for you as well ... He is hearing us. It's a very moving poem Dhaye. Nice job on the form too.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you, Star. =)

[MsJewel]

A beautiful prayer, this heartfelt Lai. The form is lovely and your poem so soft and gentle...
I love it!

:) Julie

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Wow! Thank you so much, Ms. Julie. Your words are really inspiring. =)

[Sami Khalil]

A prayer and a plead to have a child and rear it in love. Beautifully written and touching...:).....................

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you, Sami.
BTW, nice avatar...good aura.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. Thank you kindly...:)........................

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem. You create true vision and hope with the use of the Lai poem. A child give us reasons to live. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

That's true, CP. Thanks for the read and review.

[Rachelle]

English teacher? ..........

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

LOL. No. Technical-Vocational Teacher. Layo noh? Hehe. Writing is my passion.
Thanks for dropping by, sweetie.

[Rachelle]

:) as in drafting and manufacturing?

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

My specialization is Dressmaking but Fashion Designing is a part of the module.

[gabrielle]

Not so much familiar with the form but i think that you followed the rhyme scheme well. However, there's something off about the last stanza. "we bid", "a kid" and "i plead" surely rhyme but the flow just don't go well with the stanza.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks for that keen eyes, Gab. Pinagpalit-palit ko nga pala yan...hehe. I'm not really familiar pero gaya ng dati, pinost ko para makakuha ng suggestion. Buti nga nakita mo...gusto pa naman mabasa yan ng source. LOL
Thank you so much, Gab. I'll try to fix it.