Haiku Suite

Haiku Suite

A Poem by heavenscentgirl1


sunshine filters in
robins share their happy songs
greatness all around


sunshine warms the earth
mourning doves meandering
squirrels run about


raindrops fall to earth
flora proudly standing tall
nature is renewed

© 2017 heavenscentgirl1



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A lovely haiku string my friend, just one little point if i may ...the alliteration between "mourning" and "meandering" is wonderful but using "ing" twice in such a small line is not very good in any kind of form.Maybe "mourning doves meander free" ? ,just a suggestion:)


Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I've always liked nature poems so this was easy to read and like. The images are clear.

Nice job on this. :)

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

heavenscentgirl1

4 Weeks Ago

Relic, thank you for reading another of my limited offerings here on WC ~ it is very much appreciate.. read more
Like your poem...life....friendships renewed. Thank you for posting those lovely words MJ.

Posted 2 Months Ago


heavenscentgirl1

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much Kitty, your kind words mean so much to me. I'm so glad to see you here my friend.. read more
Hit nail on head
Written words now read
Smashing write enough said

Posted 2 Months Ago


WHAT AM I?: Nephilim WHAT AM I?: Nephilim
A teen boy gets killed, but trades his soul for another chance. He changes. A girl notices the new boy with silver eyes.
Believe It Or Not Believe It Or Not
This is my first attempt at slam poetry, and I'm excited to film a performance of this piece over the coming day.
I am not sure I agree with Stella about "mourning" and "meandering". I think the 'ings' work very well!
As for the three haikus, I think they work well together too, celebrating nature. I especially like the word 'renewed' as the last word in the suite. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Hello there : )
Very rarely do I read a haiku (or three) that use strong poetic language that actually pulls me in, but let me assure you, this did just that. This suite captures the beauty of the form in how it describes nature, sets a peaceful ambience, and maintains a creative brevity. I enjoyed your descriptions, your vocabulary, and your ability in making every line speak concisely and effectively ... you didn't waste a single syllable!
I assume you're new to this site, so welcome to WC. I look forward to reading more of your works.

- William Liston

Posted 3 Months Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ahahahaha ...i love your closing haiku ... at a "certain age" one may wish all it took to stand tall was to get caught in the rain ;) (but i am a dirty old man)
seriously .. these are so wistful, eloquent and inspiring ... i feel a peace and appreciation of nature in the reading ..so well done says i! very fine stuff!
E.
ps. i thought i was visiting Richards pages .. surprised to find it was not him .. a mistake i will make again Ms. heavenscent :)


Posted 3 Months Ago


A lovely haiku string my friend, just one little point if i may ...the alliteration between "mourning" and "meandering" is wonderful but using "ing" twice in such a small line is not very good in any kind of form.Maybe "mourning doves meander free" ? ,just a suggestion:)


Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well now, Mary Jo,
I would like to take this opportunity to warmly welcome you to the Café, and to say I hope you will enjoy it here and make many new friends and fans. Judging by this delightfully rendered suite of Haiku, I'd say you're well on your way.
What a lovely introduction to yourself, sharing one of the most challenging of Japanese forms there is, and I might add, in virtually perfect form, count, imagery, word and font choice, making a very appealing presentation for your new poet friends to enjoy.

Such a positive message and spiritually graceful ambience to please the mind's-eye and heart's soul … blessings and many thanks! ⁓ Richard : )


Finer points: Resist "the", "a", "and" words, using your keenly-creative poetic voice. Just message, if you'd like examples … I am always happy to lend a fine poetess my help. 😊

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

heavenscentgirl1

3 Months Ago

Richard, thanks so much for the warm welcome to the Café and I too hope that I'll make many new fr.. read more
Richard

3 Months Ago

'Twas a true pleasure. : )
Love haiku - so this suite filled me with joy upon reading (x3)! Great use of connected subject matter! :-)

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

heavenscentgirl1

3 Months Ago

Phill, thanks so much for stopping by for a visit and it truly warms my heart to hear that this Ha.. read more
They all are pleasing to the mind's eye dear poet.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

heavenscentgirl1

3 Months Ago

Tony, its a pleasure to have you visit my page and leave your words in review. Thank you very much.. read more

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11 Reviews
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Added on July 11, 2017
Last Updated on July 13, 2017

Author

heavenscentgirl1
heavenscentgirl1

TX



About
I'm in search of a new poetry site to share my words ... and a friend recommended this one. more..

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