Revolve

Revolve

A Poem by Scott Troy

Apologies
Empty promises and regret
Tired
A ton of bricks
The impact finally hurts
Supressed emotions
Blind absolution
The lasting thoughts of what could have been
The fear of losing my best friend
I can't forgive myself
Rather, I won't
You were the tempest
Moving me to a better man
Its broken
Yet I'd give anything
To see it right
An immovable mountain
Sheer and terrifying
I can't believe
Now the bricks hit me
Blunt an traumatizing
My heart
Longing
Twisted and managed by ego
I can never repent
I'll always feel
For you
Now a distant echo
Deaf ears and why couldn't i's
I've thought of you endlessly
I know I'm a calamity
A walking catastrophe
Yet you stayed with me
A litany of why nots
Yet, a lasting love of why not
Your heart
Your love
I miss it
I can't be mad
I know who I am
I know my offenses
I'm half a man without you
Confused
Barren in extremis
I want to hold you
I can only be honest
Truly, you are all I wanted
To no end
A soothing tide
I don't declare I was the only issue
I do declare that I did an still love you
With all my heart
I want nothing more than to fix your heart
Id pull the stars from the sky
If it would fix us
We will move forward
I don't know how your heart feels
Shades of grey and turbidity
Its not my feelings honestly
Its the idea that I could hurt you
I can't forgive myself
I'll regret this
I'll blame myself
I'll continue to love you
Endlessly
My sincerest apologies
We both gave our hearts
Our souls
I toppled your wall
A miracle of two hearts beating in sync
You are irreplaceable
The peak I never thought I could climb
I'll forever love you and adore you
I'll never forget when you were mine
i know you love me
It was palpable
An exquisite dinner for two
I loved you just as much
your words sharp as daggers
Piercing the false front I portray
I could never hide anything from you
Yes, everyone is flawed
An artwork of scratches and silent screams
You are aware
When I put pen to paper
There are no lies
Only honesty and the hard truth that is like looking in a mirror
You pit me against my fiercest demons
Always behind me
Ever encouraging
You spoke to my heart
Like no other woman
I should have done better
Been better
Strived to be the man you know I can be
A pinnacle
My true potential
I'll hate myself forever
For failing you
Your tears
Your anger
The fact you can't help but love me
I know I'm me
Personified catastrophe
I didn't want this ending
I never wanted it to end
I wanted years with you
I love your flaws
Because that is who you are
My soulmate
The other side of the same coin
Nicked and beaten
Yet beautiful
Endearing
I won't bother you with could haves
Should haves
I'll leave you with my everlasting love
A book I could write of where we could've gone
Cat hair an subtle songs
I love you as a whole
I know you are pained
Disappointed and broken
I've never doubted your love
You the bonne to my Clyde
The rock I took the first step
To strive for something better
I feel like I ripped your heart out
I didn't want this
Id look at you and imagine the following year
Together
Happy
Growing
Blissful
You declared your hopes for us in the future
I grew silent
Because I wanted
Still want
The exact same thing
I write this poem
Not as an apology
But as what's in my heart
I'll always love you
You will always be my sunrise
Warm compassionate and embracing
My heart will always be tied to yours
I'll never get over this
From my very core
You are still one of the best things to ever happen to me
The sweetest melody
You embody me
Like a burnt red autumn
You soothe me
Calm my soul
I don't mean to tear at your heart further
I know you weigh heavy with the hard decision you made
You gave many chances
Many chances wasted
That is my sin
I'll bear it
A sad Fleur de lis
I will say I hold you in a regard
Above anyone else
I never wanted our song to end

© 2018 Scott Troy


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Added on May 27, 2018
Last Updated on May 27, 2018

Author

Scott Troy
Scott Troy

Edwardsville, IL



About
Midwest writer. Father. Romantic. more..

Writing
Shattered Shattered

A Poem by Scott Troy