Ours

Ours

A Poem by +she plays with matches+

 

 

                                    Staying submerged felt

                           endless...

                                    boundless...

 

but one can only hold their breath for so long

               before our lungs require us to resurface

                             I was trying to remember when

             .....................

 

              "when" our imperfections

      became their beauty mark

                                 and the mercury in their blood           

                                   became our electrolyte

 

       they said that we can be like airplanes

                              and fly high above the freak show

         but little did any of us know

                               

                  the red tide had grown too high                      

                            swallowing up our dignity and pride                             

          forcing us instead

                             to travel by land

                sadly...

                 we failed to rescue one of our own

                 our yellow submarine

             

                              could not save the canary

                  perhaps...

 

              the drowning was necessary.

 


© 2017 +she plays with matches+



Author's Note

+she plays with matches+
 photo tumblr_mj573p8bRD1r4zr2vo1_500_zps2eb31ac9.gif



There has been a lot of fighting recently on the cafe. Writers in this place seem to be so deep in water..they are oblivious to how they treat one another...oblivious to how certain actions and words can pull another writer down, hence "the canary" representing the few writers that are trying to fly high above the chaos, and remain "creatively free"...but harsh words and criticism are weighing these writers down. "The drowning was necessary" a metaphor to represent the writers who try and stay afloat "by elimating the competion"


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

the waters can me such a beautiful place but yet can be a place of horror....I love this. I did not realize people did not get along on here and fighting. ugh... I sure hope I don t encounter that, because I am here purely for the craft of writing, to get improve myself and be of help to others...honestly.. and I don't want to have all the drama...ugh.. you are a wonderful poet Muse and thanks for interacting with me.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

tell em girl,loved your review of genosides a*s,,lol

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

+she plays with matches+

1 Month Ago

I know I don't come around and visit the café often. But when I do, the last thing I need to see i.. read more
Dear Muse,
Writers fighting ?
Sorry ! As usual my silph and I tread water
and never know that we are being criticised.
It is so happy being this way. Think I will start
writing again just to give the others some ammo.
----- Eagle Cruagh

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this poem. I hate that it came out of petty strife. But it's a structural marvel, a delicate tear for something not so wonderful as it should be.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

the waters can me such a beautiful place but yet can be a place of horror....I love this. I did not realize people did not get along on here and fighting. ugh... I sure hope I don t encounter that, because I am here purely for the craft of writing, to get improve myself and be of help to others...honestly.. and I don't want to have all the drama...ugh.. you are a wonderful poet Muse and thanks for interacting with me.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

How very sad a situation. WC now seems like a very welcoming environment to newcomers like me, so hopefully this is no longer an issue. You have created a very strong metaphor to describe the bullying techniques used to destroy others. If some did in fact "drown," their spirits crushed, that was a tragedy, indeed. Great work!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Im so happy to be back on WC, but I'm most happy on reading the best work of the best writers!!
:'D

-Bliss

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nicely written! I really enjoyed reading this.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There is a surge of powerful electricity in your words.. the message rippling through the waves... It makes me ache to think of writers here hurting others... I was abused and bullied for years to the point of suicide... I have little patience for haters...

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nicely written. I like the voice of this poem it's strong. Thanks for sharing

Posted 4 Years Ago


Title straight away took me to TAYLOR SWIFT's song "ours" . After reading the poem it felt completely different , LOVED IT :D

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

2001 Views
53 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on April 28, 2013
Last Updated on June 21, 2017

Author

+she plays with matches+
+she plays with matches+

IA



About
You can follow me here: http://www.pinterest.com/creativeink78/ Buy me here:http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KK93YL8 https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Muse78 .. more..

Writing