Old

Old

A Poem by Muse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He watches
through a pane
of dirty glass
like you and I
he's had a future
he's had a past
time for him
is almost spent
calloused hands 
like old cement
delicate fallibility 
impales his skin
ghost like stupor
invested in silence
quiet and guarded
bearded with thoughts
secrets antiqued within
waiting patiently now
for his hour to come
visual modality blurred
hearing obscured
deliberate and unmeasured
this process of decay
frail like lead paint
 
                    slowly peeling,
 
                                    chipping away................

 

 

© 2014 Muse


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EMF
An incredible piece. Compelling. You have created a perfect character study in just a few lines. The depth of insight, coupled with a love of your subject matter generate a power and intensity, while you also imbed a tendrness and understanding that is incomparible. Class work Lady. Nice to get the time to read and reread. You have left me images that will be a long time peeling.

Posted 12 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Oh Muse this is just exquisite. You've captured something here, the essence of being perhaps. I agree with another poster that this is a publish worthy piece. It is truly breathtakingly beautiful.

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Muse

11 Years Ago

thank you..I see elderly every day where I work..I often wonder about their untold stories.
icelandicblue

11 Years Ago

I especially appreciate the reverence in this piece. That is something that we seem to have lost in .. read more
Muse

11 Years Ago

yeah I had an arguement with another writer about this..young writer..he said the old are senile..an.. read more
An excellent metaphor for the aging that we all face....gracefully done my friend.....Whisk

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Muse

11 Years Ago

thx my friend
This is an amazing piece! I really loved the concept, and the way you portrayed it. A publish worthy piece!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Muse

11 Years Ago

Thank you Anna...I tried to turn the fear of aging...into a beautiful enigma of life.
Very creative. I love "he's had a future, he's had a past." Those spoke to me. I think it pretty much sums of the feelings of a lonely elderly person.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Muse

11 Years Ago

thanks for visiting Sarah

Elderly people are fascinating-lifetimes of stories written in the lines on their faces. When my father, who will be 90 this Sat., tells stories from his youth he is transformed back to those times, and I see a very different side of him. He is mysterious to me because I have only known him as my dad.....such wonders in everyone.






Posted 11 Years Ago


Oh My God!! It so emotional!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


wowowoow.... the way you portrayed the message is just sooo great, "slow;y peeling chipping away....." those two lines carried the whole message.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really felt the poetry when you gave me the image of chipping dry flakes of paint. Touching write. I see you have a tenderness here.


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Mic
Beautiful piece. Somehow summons a sense of calming. Perhaps it's his seeming surrender to the inevitable. Not sure.

'he's had a future
he's had a past
time for him
is almost spent' ...

Simple, and my favorite passage. You've surprised me here Muse', writing as one who knows rather than sees. Exquisitely done, and I applaud you.



Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

you won my contest a year ago ahaha

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Muse

11 Years Ago

lol...how time flies!

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Stats

3760 Views
124 Reviews
Shelved in 10 Libraries
Added on June 8, 2011
Last Updated on June 8, 2014
Tags: Ageing, poem, poetry, life, enigma, old


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