Just an aftertaste....................

You stopped me at the first hello, an

 

older and charming handsome fellow

 

we quickly went from friends to lovers

 

I began to slaver for something more

 

I wanted to extinguish you, tasting

 

your salty skin, igniting a craving within

 

I need more to satisfy this palate, your

 

smell of blood sweet like punch, so I

 

pursue my first innocent lick and bite

 

only to get you stuck between my teeth

 

breaking fingers and splintering bones

 

I try to savor your affection in my mouth, but

 

what was once a confection has turned bitter

 

instead I had to swallow you down whole

 

bloated now from the weight of your soul.

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Well slap my a*s call me Charlie and tell me to see Wonka bars. The start gave me the impression the end would not be as harsh. But I loved it, the entire flow could have been someone's thoughts when lying in bed and having the ever important moment of clarity.

[Mic]

Was reminded of the evolution of those thoughts concerning life with one's mate in matrimony...first, those contemplating devouring them alive, soon followed by those wishing to God you had!

Very well done!

[Jenna]

Starts off so sweet and pulls you under then turns sickly and you just want to wash your hands of it. Such an amazing effect.

[Pegasus Rex]

you just made me feel uncomfortable about being an older gentleman. i adore and worship women so i know this wasn't me but hey, this guy sounds like a real pariah...a scourge on the face of manliness. i apologize for this piece of rancid beef. on behalf of all decent men. this write provoked me to anger and shame.....very effective and resonant.

[Frieda P]

I had that for dinner last night.

Truly a phenomenal write...you never cease to amaze me, let me have a taste of your soul....

[The Cobra Lounge]

not tonight...it might give you gas. xx

:D

[Frieda P]

A headache again? ;-) xo

[The Cobra Lounge]

forgot the beano

[Frieda P]

Some things are just worth a bit of discomfort hun ;-)

[The 13th Eros]

There is both a pleasure and a pain in passion, and you've tasted the beautiful bittersweet life deeply. Now tell me, sweetest muse... have you found a new recipe book that will give you what you have longed for so long? May it ever be. xoxo

[The Cobra Lounge]

I'm working on that recipe..and still flossing. :D

[The 13th Eros]

Must keep that sweet smile shining. I know with all my heart that you'll find that perfect mix of ingredients. xoxo

[The Cobra Lounge]

My recipe book is not full...why do people prefer my romantic/macabre adventures? I think we are all canabals..some of us just don't want to admit it. The praying matis has a heart, she just gets hungry.

[The 13th Eros]

There is a bit of the darkness in each of us, as there is light as well. And within us that devouring hunger that cannot quite be sated. Now, I hope that you can get your fill without too many bites. ;)

[The Cobra Lounge]

I suffer from ying/yang bi-polar thoughts. I write for God one day...the devil the next.

[The 13th Eros]

And you know what? God loves you on both days. You are beautiful beyond belief and this moment is yours. xo

[The Cobra Lounge]

I had to make peace with that..yes I think you are right. xo

[The 13th Eros]

You are loved here too, and nothing can change that. xo

[Bill]

This is inspiration to all the world's "older men." Never have I wanted so badly to be extinguished, bloodied, bitten, broken, splintered, stuck between teeth, and swallowed.

Unfortunately, nobody ever notices that I'm "older," because I"m so shockingly immature.

[taboo.poet]

Wow. This was really good. I loved the grueling imagery at the end, and the tone of the novel. Like MoriartyMesa said, "the start gave me the impression the end would not be as harsh." I agree. The change of tone and imagery was unexpected, but definitely a great twist in the poem. My favorite part personally was:
"what was once a confection has turned bitter
instead I had to swallow you down whole
bloated now from the weight of your soul."
Great poem ^^ Keep writing

[Pax Analog]

Hilarious deterioration of relatively innocent desire into bored Swiftian cannibalism. It reminds me of National Lampoon's Radio Dinner parody of Desiderata, Deteriorata: "Keep in mind that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore. It will stick to your face."

Methinks it's a Sagittarian thing to find the satiric value in cannibalism. Swift did it in his A Modest Proposal, wherein he offered the eating of babies as a solution to famine & overpopulation in Ireland. I've touched on similar sentiments often (tho' Leo, I have an additional "release" factor via Jupiter in Sagittarius).

And what's the weight of that -- belch -- bloated soul? 21 Grams? ;-)

[The Cobra Lounge]

21 grams of saturated fat. A great source of carbs. Ha

[Pax Analog]

Ah. Didja know the film 21 Grams was named after a notion that the soul weighed that, based on weighing body before & after death?

[The Cobra Lounge]

My subconscious mind says I've read that "somewhere".

[Aaran]

You are such a heart breaker ( and soul eater LOL ) .. This is deliciously evil.. that's the least I can say... :)

[David Scott]

The young maiden would do well to head your poem and avoid the bitter aftertaste, but then again, was it worth the "sweet confection"?
Ha. Lovely write!