Just an aftertaste....................

You stopped me at the first hello, an

 

older and charming handsome fellow

 

we quickly went from friends to lovers

 

I began to slaver for something more

 

I wanted to extinguish you, tasting

 

your salty skin, igniting a craving within

 

I need more to satisfy this palate, your

 

smell of blood sweet like punch, so I

 

pursue my first innocent lick and bite

 

only to get you stuck between my teeth

 

breaking fingers and splintering bones

 

I try to savor your affection in my mouth, but

 

what was once a confection has turned bitter

 

instead I had to swallow you down whole

 

bloated now from the weight of your soul.

Author's Note

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Well slap my a*s call me Charlie and tell me to see Wonka bars. The start gave me the impression the end would not be as harsh. But I loved it, the entire flow could have been someone's thoughts when lying in bed and having the ever important moment of clarity.

[Brad Nugent]

Beautiful. 'what was once a confection has turned bitter' - exceptional work. I particularly liked the irregular rhyme scheme / line endings. It lends an edgy character to the poem that worked really well.

[Dreamer]

This is a great piece, keep taking me down different paths. Jus when i thought i knew where this was goin i ended up somewhere else. I like the image of being bloated frm the weight of ur soul. Why is it heavy? Is it a heavy emptiness?

[Kenneth The Poet]

Sensual, biting, exquisite. All in all, an excellent write.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is amazing. Your use of language made each desire and emotion come alive with real life. I like so many lines in this poem.
"I wanted to extinguish you, tasting
your salty skin, igniting a craving within"
The statement above is true in life. We must do our best to extinguish our lover desire and hope for a reward. Thank you for your amazing poetry.
Coyote

[WindSong]

A lustful appetite for a hungry body. A very well written and creative poem.

WindSong

[Sethnicity]

Well said and played.... I feel that I have been on both sides of the meal. Eating my feelings and being devoured by such hunger that I could not fulfill. You speak the truth and ask for no apologies, I respect that in your writing.
Give em the red pen and dare them to Jump test.
Love is your meal plate and you can always ask for seconds...

[Moflo]

This was nicely conveyed, I like the progression of the story and the allegory of the work in general. The format is very nicely done and the images are very vivid. Great job.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

delectable multilayered divine piece of of poetic ~ what metaphors!~ imagery fierce!~ can't help but love a poem where girl unhinges her soul and devours the male thing that thought he was the predator~ ha! love it!~

[Staceypoet]

Charming is too vague- and stopped at the first hello is used so much. And the punch line is very striking. I like how you crossed off extiguinsh. I like how you ended with 'bloated now from the weight of your soul." it ties it in nice. The image of breaking bones and splintering teeth is very tantalizing. Maybe go into how he is charming- in very compact ways.

[Forest Green]

Phantasmically thought-provoking...! A truly lust-thirsty write...or so it seems. I believe you've touched on the reality of horror breaking loose from the confines of sentimentality...;)

Quite the interesting and very unique write.